沒(méi)有個(gè)人陳述文書的申請(qǐng)都是不完整的，專家說(shuō)，一篇好的大學(xué)申請(qǐng)陳述應(yīng)該突出學(xué)生的聲音和個(gè)性，這可能會(huì)讓很多學(xué)生望而卻步。如何能寫好一份好的申請(qǐng)故事，請(qǐng)看出國(guó)留學(xué)網(wǎng)下文為大家?guī)?lái)的例子。
但是一些簡(jiǎn)單的建議，一些自省，以及洞察到了招生官尋找的點(diǎn)，可以幫助自己緩解文書準(zhǔn)備壓力。USNews編輯了幾篇幫助學(xué)生入學(xué)的大學(xué)論文范例。他們說(shuō)，在招生人員的分享下，這些論文脫穎而出，因?yàn)閷W(xué)生們的聲音發(fā)出光芒，幫助學(xué)校更佳了解他們。
馬薩諸塞州塔夫茨大學(xué)（Tufts University）招生和招生管理主任卡倫?理查森（Karen Richardson）表示：“我們實(shí)際上是在傾聽學(xué)生的聲音，并試圖描繪出他們?cè)趯W(xué)校生活中的大體形象 這不僅僅是學(xué)生選擇寫的主題，而是他們?nèi)绾尉拖嚓P(guān)主題進(jìn)行書寫的。我們鼓勵(lì)學(xué)生展示而不是講述，以幫助讀者了解他們是誰(shuí)。”
專家表示，這篇文章應(yīng)該讓學(xué)校了解他或她的性格。
紐約漢密爾頓學(xué)院（Hamilton College）負(fù)責(zé)招生管理的副校長(zhǎng)莫尼卡?因澤（Monica Inzer）說(shuō)：“總的來(lái)說(shuō)，一篇好的陳述應(yīng)該是能讓我了解到有關(guān)學(xué)生的一些信息，而這些信息是我在申請(qǐng)過(guò)程中從其他地方無(wú)法了解到的。”
但因澤指出，對(duì)許多學(xué)生來(lái)說(shuō)，自己發(fā)聲可能是一個(gè)挑戰(zhàn)，因?yàn)樗麄兊纳罱?jīng)驗(yàn)可能有限。此外，她補(bǔ)充說(shuō)，到目前為止，他們一直在給高中老師的指示寫信，而不是給自己寫信。找到自己的聲音意味著學(xué)生必須了解自己，以權(quán)威的方式寫作，與招生官員分享他們的生活感受。
在其招生頁(yè)面上，漢密爾頓列出了該校錄取學(xué)生所寫的多篇大學(xué)論文范例，這些例子提供了學(xué)生們不同的聲音和背景。下面摘錄的這篇文章通過(guò)對(duì)飛蠅釣魚的熱愛，展現(xiàn)了這名學(xué)生的個(gè)性。
I kept a firm grip on the rainbow trout as I removed the lure from its lip. Then， my heart racing with excitement， I lowered the fish to the water and watched it flash away.
I remained hooked.
I caught that 10-inch fryling five years ago on Fall Creek using a $5 fly rod given to me by my neighbor Gil. The creek is spectacular as it cascades down the 150-foot drop of Ithaca Falls. Only 100-feet further， however， it runs past a decrepit gun factory and underneath a graffitied bridge before flowing adjacent to my high school and out to Cayuga Lake. Aside from the falls， the creek is largely overlooked. Nearly all of the high school students I know who cross that bridge daily do so with no thought of the creek below.
When I was a toddler， my moms say I used to point and ask， ＂What？ What？ What？＂ Even now my inquisitive nature is obvious. Unlike my friends， I had noticed people fly fishing in Fall Creek. Mesmerized by their graceful casts， I pestered Gil into teaching me. From that first thrilling encounter with a trout， I knew I needed to catch more. I had a new string of questions. I wanted to understand trout behavior， how to find them， and what they ate. There was research to do.
I devoted myself to fly fishing. I asked questions. I woke up at 4 a.m. to fish before school. I spent days not catching anything. Yet， I persisted. The Kid＇s Book of Fishing was replaced by Norman MacLean＇s A River Runs Through It. Soon Ernest Hemingway＇s essays found their place next to Trout Unlimited magazines by my bed.
I sought teachers. I continued to fish with Gil， and at his invitation joined the local Trout Unlimited Chapter. I enrolled in a fly-tying class.
There I met Ken， a soft-spoken molecular biologist， who taught me to start each fly I make by crimping the hook to reduce harm to fish， and Mike， a sarcastic Deadhead lawyer， who turns over rocks at all times of year to ＂match the hatch＂ and figure out which insects fish are eating. Thanks to my mentors， I can identify and create almost every type of Northeastern mayfly， caddisfly， and stonefly.
The more I learned， the more protective I felt of the creek and its inhabitants. My knowledge of mayflies and experience fishing in many New York streams led me to notice the lack of Blue-Winged Olive Mayflies in Fall Creek. I figured out why while discussing water quality in my AP Biology class； lead from the gun factory had contaminated the creek and ruined the mayfly habitat. Now， I participate in stream clean-up days， have documented the impact of invasive species on trout and other native fish， and have chosen to continue to explore the effects of pollutants on waterways in my AP Environmental Science class.
Last year， on a frigid October morning， I started a conversation with the man fishing next to me. Banks， I later learned， is a contemporary artist who nearly died struggling with a heroin addiction. When we meet on the creek these days we talk about casting techniques， aquatic insects， and fishing ethics. We also talk about the healing power of fly fishing. I know Banks would agree with Henry David Thoreau， who wrote ＂[Many men] lay so much stress on the fish which they catch or fail to catch， and on nothing else， as if there were nothing else to be caught.＂
Initially， my goal was to catch trout. What I landed was a passion. Thanks to that first morning on Fall Creek， I＇ve found a calling that consumes my free time， compels me to teach fly fishing to others， and drives what I want to study in college.
I will be leaving Fall Creek soon. I am eager to step into new streams.
“最重要的是學(xué)生自己的聲音，”因澤說(shuō)。他指出，過(guò)于客觀的論文會(huì)削弱學(xué)生的個(gè)性。
“你可以把這一文章看作自己整個(gè)申請(qǐng)的靈魂。雖然我們認(rèn)識(shí)到，需要多年的辛勤工作和奉獻(xiàn)精神， 在自己的高中生涯建立一個(gè)強(qiáng)大的大學(xué)申請(qǐng)， 幫助招生委員會(huì)在我們的教室、我們的俱樂(lè)部和我們的社區(qū)中描繪你的是你自己的聲音和觀點(diǎn)，”埃倫·金說(shuō)，他是馬里蘭州的約翰霍普金斯大學(xué)本科招生學(xué)院院長(zhǎng)。
“這篇文章是能活躍地表達(dá)學(xué)生自身的空間。委員會(huì)并不是在尋找什么特別的東西，因?yàn)橹挥幸徊糠謻|西能說(shuō)明一些問(wèn)題，那就是學(xué)生們?nèi)绾卧谀莻€(gè)空間里分享自己是很重要的?！盞im說(shuō)。
有些大學(xué)除了要求學(xué)生寫個(gè)人短文外，還要求學(xué)生寫一篇補(bǔ)充短文。招生專家指出，這些論文通常篇幅較短，重點(diǎn)是回答學(xué)院提出的一個(gè)具體問(wèn)題。
不過(guò)，在某些情況下，學(xué)?？赡軙?huì)把補(bǔ)充論文作為首要申請(qǐng)任務(wù)。圣約翰學(xué)院（St. John’s College）負(fù)責(zé)招生的副校長(zhǎng)本杰明?鮑姆（Benjamin Baum）說(shuō)，圣約翰學(xué)院的情況就是如此，該校在馬里蘭州和新墨西哥州都有校區(qū)。
鮑姆說(shuō)：“我們雖然稱之為補(bǔ)充文書，但實(shí)際上，這是學(xué)生們?cè)谏暾?qǐng)時(shí)要寫的最重要的一篇論文?！彼€補(bǔ)充說(shuō)，這篇論文讓學(xué)校能夠圍繞圣約翰學(xué)院的學(xué)術(shù)重點(diǎn)為申請(qǐng)者量身定制問(wèn)題。
專家們說(shuō)，補(bǔ)充短文往往很短，但圣約翰學(xué)院（St. John＇s College）卻與這一趨勢(shì)背道而馳，它要求學(xué)生至少寫400字。這是因?yàn)閷W(xué)校希望看到學(xué)生就選定的主題進(jìn)行長(zhǎng)篇寫作。
Baum指出以下這篇關(guān)于學(xué)生對(duì)政治和法律哲學(xué)的熱愛的補(bǔ)充文章就是一個(gè)很好的例子：
Last year in my Constitutional Law class， I fell in love with political and legal philosophy. Sexy， right？
Maybe not， but I loved the rules， the structure， and the big questions that surrounded organizing a government. I thought about these things constantly—while brushing my teeth， doing chores， and driving to school. Unable to take this beloved course a second time， I chose my senior classes with more than a touch of melancholy. I was skeptical that even the most appealing humanities class， AP Literature， would be anything but anticlimactic by comparison. I＇d become so accustomed to reading the function-focused writings of Locke， Rousseau， Madison， Thoreau， that I found it difficult to see ＂literature＂ as anything more than mere stories. I wanted substance that I could actually do something with， and I didn＇t expect to find it in AP Lit.
Settling down to read our first assigned book， Sophocles＇ Antigone， I was apathetic. We＇d done a pre-reading exercise earlier in class and I＇d gathered that Antigone was just the sad story of a wannabe-martyr-descendant-of-Oedipus who crosses the wrong king， dies， breaks her fiance＇s heart with her death， leading him， and her would-be mother-in-law by extension， to suicide， blah， blah， blah. I fanned the pages with my thumb， checked the time （10：15 p.m.）， and willed myself to make it through the first ten pages without falling asleep.
Rousseau＇s familiar skepticism of an unchecked ruler， Locke＇s notions of natural rights philosophy， and Thoreau＇s willingness to violate immoral laws. Wait—this was a literature class， and yet here was Sophocles articulating the same concerns of the Framers of the Constitution （hundreds of years before any of them were born）.
Antigone has become my favorite book because it wraps political and legal theory around complex characters and a compelling narrative. Prior to reading Antigone ， I assumed that if I hadn＇t read every book that pertained to the architecture of US government， I had at least heard of them. But I was so mistaken. Antigone proved this assumption wrong because Antigone itself was a case study in the actual consequences of ideas discussed by political philosophers. In other words， Antigonehumanized the esoteric and function-driven debates I＇d studied last year. Witnessing Haemon cradle his dead fiance in his arms， then subsequently kill himself before his father＇s eyes， allowed me to see all of the ideas I＇d spent hours considering as not purely political questions， but as human ones. Finishing the play， I was ashamed that I＇d harbored such skepticism at the outset of my reading. My experience with Antigone reminds me why I get excited each time I use calculus in physics or art in cooking， and I look forward to a lifetime of making these connections.
從引人注目的開場(chǎng)白到對(duì)學(xué)科課程的強(qiáng)調(diào)，Baum說(shuō)這個(gè)例子之所以突出是因?yàn)閷W(xué)生的“知識(shí)熱情”。她對(duì)深入學(xué)術(shù)概念的接受向招生團(tuán)隊(duì)表明，她非常適合這所大學(xué)。
雖然圣約翰學(xué)院可能要求學(xué)生給出更深入的答案，但其他學(xué)?？粗睾?jiǎn)潔，要求學(xué)生寫得簡(jiǎn)明扼要。塔夫茨分享的一個(gè)這樣的例子，用不到250個(gè)字，就把讀者從學(xué)生對(duì)折紙的熱愛帶到了對(duì)科學(xué)的熱愛。
Using a flimsy piece of printer paper， I remember folding my first paper crane. Reading instructions off a dusty origami book from my basement， my fingers fumbled with the paper， folding， unfolding， refolding， and possibly some frustration-induced crumpling. Nearly an hour later， with little creases scattered across its body and a misaligned beak， it was clear that origami wasn＇t a natural talent of mine.
Despite its deformities， there was an endearing quality to the bird I couldn＇t quite explain. After sixteen folds， it resembled the paper only in color and material. I would fold countless other designs， until my room was covered with creations from simple paper boats to intricate seven part lotus flowers.
The joy I found in origami lied in the fact that I had the freedom to invent anything； with each fold， creativity flowed through my fingers， converting curiosity of the potential of each fold into an irrepressible desire to create more. It is what motivated me to read about 2D kinematics to win a projectile motion challenge， and understand the chemistry behind qualitative analysis of cations for a lab.
Everything I could ever want to know and more is right at my fingertips. From the change in weight I feel in a moving elevator， to the chemical reactions that cause the plastic stars in my room to glow， science is a field that permeates every single aspect of life. I know my curiosity to understand the world around me nurtures my love for science.
理查森說(shuō)，一篇關(guān)于非典型主題（如折紙）的文章的吸引力表明，作者愿意為其承擔(dān)風(fēng)險(xiǎn)。
“折紙這一興趣不是一篇大學(xué)論文的典型主題，但除此之外，她給我們展示了她的制作過(guò)程，而不是告訴我們她制作的東西并不總是符合她的期望或要求?！北M管如此，她還是繼續(xù)努力。這有助于我們把她看作一個(gè)愿意在我們的校園里縱身體驗(yàn)新事物的人。這里突出的是她用來(lái)表達(dá)觀點(diǎn)的意象——我能想象出她地板上的皺巴巴的紙和她感到的沮喪。最終，她能夠?qū)⒆约旱恼奂垊?chuàng)作過(guò)程與自己的學(xué)術(shù)興趣聯(lián)系起來(lái)，”理查森在一封電子郵件中寫道。
當(dāng)涉及到寫一篇大學(xué)入學(xué)申請(qǐng)論文時(shí)，無(wú)論是個(gè)人的還是補(bǔ)充的，專家們建議學(xué)生們遵循同樣的規(guī)則：找到自己的聲音，寫一個(gè)對(duì)他們來(lái)說(shuō)重要的話題，分享他們的個(gè)性，表達(dá)自己的想法，并廣泛校對(duì)。關(guān)于后一點(diǎn)，專家建議學(xué)生們?cè)谔峤徽撐闹埃扰c熟悉自己的人分享。
老師、朋友和父母都可以幫助校對(duì)，但專家指出，學(xué)生自己的聲音應(yīng)該保持完整。
“大學(xué)申請(qǐng)陳述文書真的需要是學(xué)生的工作。我鼓勵(lì)學(xué)生讓身邊的人讀這篇文章，并問(wèn)“你知道這篇文章是關(guān)于我的嗎？”如果得到的答案是否定的，那么是時(shí)候修改文章了。但要確保文章還是以你的聲音發(fā)出，”理查森說(shuō)。
Inzer還提醒到，但是學(xué)生不要在陳述文書上花太多精力，不要把不必要的重量放在申請(qǐng)大學(xué)上。雖然一篇優(yōu)秀的文書，可能會(huì)在一個(gè)競(jìng)爭(zhēng)激烈的領(lǐng)域提升一個(gè)申請(qǐng)人，但她說(shuō)，它不會(huì)決定一份申請(qǐng)的成敗。
“單憑這一點(diǎn)不能讓申請(qǐng)者被錄取；他們的成績(jī)，學(xué)習(xí)努力程度和許多其他的事情，都是重要的考察因素。但這可能會(huì)讓他們得到額外的關(guān)注，尤其是在一個(gè)有很多優(yōu)秀候選人的高選擇性的地方，” Inzer說(shuō)。