本文來自雅思作文網(wǎng)liuxue86.com《范文分析》。
Task Two
Some famous universities lower their academic requirements to enroll students who have outstanding athletic talents. To what extent do you agree with this practice? Give reasons based on your experience.
You should write at least 250 words and spend approximately 40 minutes on this task.
對(duì)范文的點(diǎn)評(píng)
Sample 1
It becomes more and more common that many universities, especially those famous universities, lower their academic standards to enrol students who have special athletic talents. I think this activity of universities is reasonable and accepted.
First, students who have special athletic talents often have poor academic scores. They maybe have no opportunities to receive higher education because of their poor studies. Universities which lower their academic standards to enrol them can make these students turn their dreams into realities. Sometimes those universities which enrol the students who have special athletic talents have better conditions for athletic students to improve their athletic levels.
Second. It is also very helpful for universities which accept athletic students to improve their fames. Competition between universities are extensive. Most famous universities pay their attentions not only to academic researches but to many other aspects, for example arts and sports. Good athletic scores can improve the fames of the universities which can attract more exelent students. All these are competitive for universities.
All above, enroling athletic students by lower their academic standards has more advantages for universities though it perhaps can bring some disadvantages to them. (190 words)
拼寫錯(cuò)誤：
fames T fame（不可數(shù)名詞，不能有復(fù)數(shù)形式）
exelent T excellent
enroling T enrolling
作者的英文非常好，但因這個(gè)題目有一定的難度，對(duì)很多人來說，論點(diǎn)、論據(jù)都不能來得很便捷。這就造成有些人英文雖好，但無話可說的局面。于是，很多人出于字?jǐn)?shù)和時(shí)間的壓力，胡亂寫一些詞不達(dá)意的內(nèi)容。這樣的文章當(dāng)然得不到好的分?jǐn)?shù)。
此文論點(diǎn)鮮明，沒有什么嚴(yán)重的錯(cuò)誤，因此，字?jǐn)?shù)就是最嚴(yán)重的問題了。此文可以得4或5段。請(qǐng)對(duì)比前后兩文。
Revised edition of Sample 1
It becomes more and more common that many universities, especially those famous universities, lower their academic standards to enrol students who have special athletic talents. I think this activity of universities is reasonable and acceptable.
First, students who have special athletic talents often have poor academic scores. They maybe have no opportunities to receive higher education because of their poor studies. Universities which lower their academic standards to enrol them can make these students turn their dreams into reality. Sometimes those universities have better conditions for athletic students to improve their athletic levels.
預(yù)祝您雅思作文更上一層樓,感謝您閱讀《范文分析》一文.本文來自雅思作文網(wǎng)liuxue86.com《范文分析》。
Second. It is also very helpful for universities which accept athletic students to improve their fame. Competition between universities is extensive. Most famous universities pay attention not only to academic researches but to many other aspects, for example arts and sports. Good athletic scores can improve the fame of the universities which can attract more excellent students. All these are competitive for universities.
Above all, enrolling athletic students by lowering academic standards has more advantages for universities though it perhaps can bring some disadvantages to them. (179 words, 5)
Sample 2
It seems a fashion that many universities would like to lower their academic standards to enrol students who have special athletic talents. Universities do so because they want to strengthen their competitive ability in nearly all kinds of sports games. However, there will be some disadvantage if universities lose control on themselves.
I think that it is a good thing for both the university and the students with special athletic talents when the university just lowers academic standards slightly. The university can improve its ability in sports competition, and the special students can catch up with academic study. They may also play an important role in stimulating other students’ interest in sports.
But it will be harmful to other students and the special students if universities only care about their sports power and enrol those students with athletic talents who have a big academic gap. Accompanied by those outstanding sportsmen, other students will feel unfair. In addition, it will be very difficult for those special students to keep their normal study. One of my classmates, a female special student, quit from our university after having failed almost all subjects in the first school year. She went back to her hometown without saying good-bye to us. Such cases are very common in universities. Those students with special athletic talents are like machines to universities, and not many people really care what they think about. Many of them have to quit, which I believe will bring a long-term, negative impact on their future.
It’s not bad for universities to enrol some students who have special athletic telnets, but at the same time, universities should treat these special students as normal students: care for their athletic talents, and care for their academic performance. (290 words)
這是一篇非常好的文章，文字功底、論點(diǎn)和論據(jù)的組織、字?jǐn)?shù)等都明顯高于上一篇。得7或8段應(yīng)不成問題。
以上內(nèi)容摘自《雅思直快 - 寫作》，陳衛(wèi)東編著，北京語(yǔ)言大學(xué)出版社2002年出版。
More essays
In my point of view, (In my opinion / From my point of view) universities should not lower their academic requirements to enroll students who have outstanding athletic potentials. Doing so leads two questions.
（但你并未在下文闡明哪兩方面問題。故你想說的可能是 There are two ways of looking at the problem.）
預(yù)祝您雅思作文更上一層樓,感謝您閱讀《范文分析》一文.本文來自雅思作文網(wǎng)liuxue86.com《范文分析》。
Firstly, this will lower the overall academic standard of the university. Although sports are one aspect of the university life, the most important aspect is academic activity.(academic activities would always be a college student's top priorities.) Students go to university to learn (pursue) knowledge. If universities lower their standard of academy, the students will not learn enough knowledge for their afterwards work or study. (students, including the athletes, will not be able to acquire knowledge of any depth in a sound environment, thus making it more difficult to them for their future career.)
（從結(jié)論上看，你是不支持降低要求的，這就需要把本段的意思加強(qiáng)，拓展。）
Secondly, (Conversely,) if universities do not lower their standard for these special students (those sport talents), it will bring terrible pressure for (on) them. In my university, a student who had been enrolled for his outstanding basketball skills failed four subjects in one term because he cannot (could not) keep up with the courses. And he (He)commited (committed) suicide at last.
（你把邏輯關(guān)系弄反了，---大學(xué)如不降低要求會(huì)怎樣，與上段并非是意思上遞近的關(guān)系，故改成conversely。自殺的例子有些不可信，至少我作為讀者是這樣認(rèn)為的?？梢跃幑适拢颓槔怼，F(xiàn)實(shí)中有極端的例子，但在無法過多說明的情況下，還應(yīng)盡量考慮讀者的感受。另外，你似乎在矛盾之中，好象大學(xué)降低門檻也對(duì)，因?yàn)橛衪errible pressure on them --- 必須有一個(gè)明確的觀點(diǎn)，mixed feelings don't count in an argument.）
In conclusion, universities should not lower their academic requirements. If they want to enroll students with outstanding athletic potentials, they must provide them extra programs to ensure these students can meet the requirements.
結(jié)尾觀點(diǎn)明白，不羅嗦。只是第二段對(duì)它的支持不夠。
Remark: Generally fluent and is able to use idiomatic English in most situations. However, there is a major flaw in presenting argument and making it coherent. The result is lack of conviction on the part of the reader as where the writer stands on the issue.
就作者的英文水平來說，得6段應(yīng)該沒有問題。但就此文的論點(diǎn)、論據(jù)的效果來說，得5段也是有可能的。
essay by zhangdan@public.gb.com.cn
（王旭 北京語(yǔ)言大學(xué)優(yōu)秀雅思教師）
預(yù)祝您雅思作文更上一層樓,感謝您閱讀《范文分析》一文.
Task Two
Some famous universities lower their academic requirements to enroll students who have outstanding athletic talents. To what extent do you agree with this practice? Give reasons based on your experience.
You should write at least 250 words and spend approximately 40 minutes on this task.
對(duì)范文的點(diǎn)評(píng)
Sample 1
It becomes more and more common that many universities, especially those famous universities, lower their academic standards to enrol students who have special athletic talents. I think this activity of universities is reasonable and accepted.
First, students who have special athletic talents often have poor academic scores. They maybe have no opportunities to receive higher education because of their poor studies. Universities which lower their academic standards to enrol them can make these students turn their dreams into realities. Sometimes those universities which enrol the students who have special athletic talents have better conditions for athletic students to improve their athletic levels.
Second. It is also very helpful for universities which accept athletic students to improve their fames. Competition between universities are extensive. Most famous universities pay their attentions not only to academic researches but to many other aspects, for example arts and sports. Good athletic scores can improve the fames of the universities which can attract more exelent students. All these are competitive for universities.
All above, enroling athletic students by lower their academic standards has more advantages for universities though it perhaps can bring some disadvantages to them. (190 words)
拼寫錯(cuò)誤：
fames T fame（不可數(shù)名詞，不能有復(fù)數(shù)形式）
exelent T excellent
enroling T enrolling
作者的英文非常好，但因這個(gè)題目有一定的難度，對(duì)很多人來說，論點(diǎn)、論據(jù)都不能來得很便捷。這就造成有些人英文雖好，但無話可說的局面。于是，很多人出于字?jǐn)?shù)和時(shí)間的壓力，胡亂寫一些詞不達(dá)意的內(nèi)容。這樣的文章當(dāng)然得不到好的分?jǐn)?shù)。
此文論點(diǎn)鮮明，沒有什么嚴(yán)重的錯(cuò)誤，因此，字?jǐn)?shù)就是最嚴(yán)重的問題了。此文可以得4或5段。請(qǐng)對(duì)比前后兩文。
Revised edition of Sample 1
It becomes more and more common that many universities, especially those famous universities, lower their academic standards to enrol students who have special athletic talents. I think this activity of universities is reasonable and acceptable.
First, students who have special athletic talents often have poor academic scores. They maybe have no opportunities to receive higher education because of their poor studies. Universities which lower their academic standards to enrol them can make these students turn their dreams into reality. Sometimes those universities have better conditions for athletic students to improve their athletic levels.
預(yù)祝您雅思作文更上一層樓,感謝您閱讀《范文分析》一文.本文來自雅思作文網(wǎng)liuxue86.com《范文分析》。
Second. It is also very helpful for universities which accept athletic students to improve their fame. Competition between universities is extensive. Most famous universities pay attention not only to academic researches but to many other aspects, for example arts and sports. Good athletic scores can improve the fame of the universities which can attract more excellent students. All these are competitive for universities.
Above all, enrolling athletic students by lowering academic standards has more advantages for universities though it perhaps can bring some disadvantages to them. (179 words, 5)
Sample 2
It seems a fashion that many universities would like to lower their academic standards to enrol students who have special athletic talents. Universities do so because they want to strengthen their competitive ability in nearly all kinds of sports games. However, there will be some disadvantage if universities lose control on themselves.
I think that it is a good thing for both the university and the students with special athletic talents when the university just lowers academic standards slightly. The university can improve its ability in sports competition, and the special students can catch up with academic study. They may also play an important role in stimulating other students’ interest in sports.
But it will be harmful to other students and the special students if universities only care about their sports power and enrol those students with athletic talents who have a big academic gap. Accompanied by those outstanding sportsmen, other students will feel unfair. In addition, it will be very difficult for those special students to keep their normal study. One of my classmates, a female special student, quit from our university after having failed almost all subjects in the first school year. She went back to her hometown without saying good-bye to us. Such cases are very common in universities. Those students with special athletic talents are like machines to universities, and not many people really care what they think about. Many of them have to quit, which I believe will bring a long-term, negative impact on their future.
It’s not bad for universities to enrol some students who have special athletic telnets, but at the same time, universities should treat these special students as normal students: care for their athletic talents, and care for their academic performance. (290 words)
這是一篇非常好的文章，文字功底、論點(diǎn)和論據(jù)的組織、字?jǐn)?shù)等都明顯高于上一篇。得7或8段應(yīng)不成問題。
以上內(nèi)容摘自《雅思直快 - 寫作》，陳衛(wèi)東編著，北京語(yǔ)言大學(xué)出版社2002年出版。
More essays
In my point of view, (In my opinion / From my point of view) universities should not lower their academic requirements to enroll students who have outstanding athletic potentials. Doing so leads two questions.
（但你并未在下文闡明哪兩方面問題。故你想說的可能是 There are two ways of looking at the problem.）
預(yù)祝您雅思作文更上一層樓,感謝您閱讀《范文分析》一文.本文來自雅思作文網(wǎng)liuxue86.com《范文分析》。
Firstly, this will lower the overall academic standard of the university. Although sports are one aspect of the university life, the most important aspect is academic activity.(academic activities would always be a college student's top priorities.) Students go to university to learn (pursue) knowledge. If universities lower their standard of academy, the students will not learn enough knowledge for their afterwards work or study. (students, including the athletes, will not be able to acquire knowledge of any depth in a sound environment, thus making it more difficult to them for their future career.)
（從結(jié)論上看，你是不支持降低要求的，這就需要把本段的意思加強(qiáng)，拓展。）
Secondly, (Conversely,) if universities do not lower their standard for these special students (those sport talents), it will bring terrible pressure for (on) them. In my university, a student who had been enrolled for his outstanding basketball skills failed four subjects in one term because he cannot (could not) keep up with the courses. And he (He)commited (committed) suicide at last.
（你把邏輯關(guān)系弄反了，---大學(xué)如不降低要求會(huì)怎樣，與上段并非是意思上遞近的關(guān)系，故改成conversely。自殺的例子有些不可信，至少我作為讀者是這樣認(rèn)為的?？梢跃幑适拢颓槔怼，F(xiàn)實(shí)中有極端的例子，但在無法過多說明的情況下，還應(yīng)盡量考慮讀者的感受。另外，你似乎在矛盾之中，好象大學(xué)降低門檻也對(duì)，因?yàn)橛衪errible pressure on them --- 必須有一個(gè)明確的觀點(diǎn)，mixed feelings don't count in an argument.）
In conclusion, universities should not lower their academic requirements. If they want to enroll students with outstanding athletic potentials, they must provide them extra programs to ensure these students can meet the requirements.
結(jié)尾觀點(diǎn)明白，不羅嗦。只是第二段對(duì)它的支持不夠。
Remark: Generally fluent and is able to use idiomatic English in most situations. However, there is a major flaw in presenting argument and making it coherent. The result is lack of conviction on the part of the reader as where the writer stands on the issue.
就作者的英文水平來說，得6段應(yīng)該沒有問題。但就此文的論點(diǎn)、論據(jù)的效果來說，得5段也是有可能的。
essay by zhangdan@public.gb.com.cn
（王旭 北京語(yǔ)言大學(xué)優(yōu)秀雅思教師）
預(yù)祝您雅思作文更上一層樓,感謝您閱讀《范文分析》一文.