我們總覺得孩子都是不懂事的，孩子都是調(diào)皮的，都應(yīng)該聽大人的。事實上，我們也可以從孩子身上學(xué)到一些事情。下面就和滬江小編一起來看看我們能從四歲的孩子身上學(xué)習(xí)到什么吧。
When my son was born, I imagined how I would teach him about life. Little did I know that he would be the teacher. He taught me:
從我兒子呱呱墜地那時起，我就想象著自己應(yīng)該怎樣教給他生活的道理。我從沒想過他竟然也可以成為我的老師，他教會我十件事情：
1. To use positive words
One evening at the dinner table my son said, “Dad this food is disgusting.” I thought - where did that word come from? Another time while I was explaining the rules to a game he said, “Now that's just ridiculous.” A minute later he said, “this is stupid, I give up.” At that moment it dawned on me… He's getting this stuff from me. From now on I better choose my words carefully.
一、使用積極的措詞。
有一天吃晚飯的時候，我兒子跟我說："爸爸，今天的飯菜真討厭。"我一直在想他究竟從哪里學(xué)會"討厭"這個詞。又有一次，我向他解釋一個游戲規(guī)則，他對我說"這個規(guī)則太荒謬了".過了一分鐘他又說："這個游戲?qū)嵲谔薮懒?，我不想玩了?就在那時，我才開始意識到：原來他的這些詞都是從我那學(xué)的。從此以后，我就開始慎重地選擇用詞。
2. To look for opportunity everywhere
My son views the entire world and every new person, new object, or new event as an opportunity to learn something. When a new person walks in the room he wants to know who they are and if they would like to play. If I drop a new object into a cluttered room, he will spot it, touch it, pick it up, ask questions about it. Nothing new goes unnoticed.
二、到處尋找機(jī)會。
我兒子把整個世界，每個新認(rèn)識的人或新接觸的東西都當(dāng)成一次學(xué)習(xí)的機(jī)會。當(dāng)一個他不認(rèn)識的人走進(jìn)房間時，他總是想知道這個人是誰，愿不愿意跟他一起玩。如果我在他的小房間扔一個新東西給他，他總是把這個東西反反復(fù)復(fù)地揣摩，想弄清楚這個東西可以用來做什么。新的東西總是逃不過他的眼睛。
3. A new synonym for persistence
Santa Claus brought my son a white board and a set of dry erase makers for Christmas （can you tell I'm in IT）. My son learned to write very early. He spent months obsessed with writing letters on the white board. One day I looked at the board while he was writing and I saw this combination of capital letters - SHHANDSHOWBO. He also knows how to sound out words, so I asked him what it was. He said, “It's a word I made up - Sha-hand-show-bo.” I asked, “What does it mean?” He said, “To keep trying even when it's hard.” Now when I get frustrated I think - Sha-hand-show-bo.
三、一個表示堅持的新名詞。
圣誕老人送給我們兒子一塊白板和一套橡皮擦作為圣誕禮物。我兒子很早就學(xué)會拼寫了，有好幾個月他每天都趴在白板上寫字母。有一天他正在白板上涂涂寫寫的時候，我湊過去一瞧，發(fā)現(xiàn)他在白板上寫了一列大寫字母：SHAHANDSHOWBO，而且他還知道怎么讀出這個"詞".于是我問他這個詞是什么意思，我兒子很"認(rèn)真"地回答說，"當(dāng)事情很難時，你還是能堅持努力。"現(xiàn)在，每當(dāng)我感到沮喪時，我總會想起這個詞"sha-hand-show- bo".
4. To ask big questions
A few weeks ago our cat was dying. So I explained death to my son and told him our cat was going to heaven. I was amazed that he grasped the permanence of death. Like the other members of my family he was very sad for several days. Then he asked, “Dad, how do you get to heaven?” I said,“Well everyone goes there when they die.” He said, “No I mean, how do you get there? Do go out the door and get in the car? Do you take a rocket?” I had to admit to him that I didn't know how you get to heaven, I just believe in it. A few days latter he asked, “If God made me, who made God?” Good question. I haven't thought about that one in years.
四、問大問題。
幾個星期前，我家的貓快死了，于是我向兒子解釋什么是死亡，并告訴他說我們的貓貓快要去天堂了。我非常驚訝地發(fā)現(xiàn)他竟然很快就能感知死亡是怎么一回事，和家里其他成員一樣，他為此傷心了好幾天。后來他問我："爸爸，你怎樣才能去天堂？"我說："當(dāng)人們死的時候，他們就去了天堂。"我兒子說："我不是說這個，我是說你怎樣才能到達(dá)那里？你是走過去還是搭車去，或者你是搭火箭去？"我聽了忍俊不禁，我不得不向他承認(rèn)我確實并不知道怎樣才能去天堂，我只是相信有天堂這回事。又過了一些天，他又問 "如果上帝創(chuàng)造了我，那誰創(chuàng)造了上帝呢？"這確實是個好問題，多少年我不曾想到這個問題。
5. To accept mistakes
Watching my son grow and learn, it became clear that all learning is based on trying something new, making a mistake, adjusting your actions, trying again, repeating until you get the results you desire. That is how he learned to walk, speak, read, write, build lego walls, set up train tracks, jump, run, and pedal. I can't think of one thing he did right the first time. It is a good thing he has an abundance of sha-hand-show-bo.
五、接受犯錯的事實。
看著兒子不斷地學(xué)習(xí)和成長，我深刻體會到所有的學(xué)習(xí)都基于不斷地嘗試新事物，犯錯，修正行為，繼續(xù)嘗試，重復(fù)直至獲得理想的結(jié)果。我兒子就是通過這樣學(xué)習(xí)走路，講話，讀書，寫字，筑墻（壘高拼裝玩具），拼接火車軌道（玩具），跳躍，奔跑以及騎單車。我想不到有任何一件事情他第一次就可以做對，但他有足夠的sha-hand-show- bo，這的確是一件好事。
6. To pay attention to little details
When my son was 2, he was pointing in a box and saying, “ate, ate, ate, ate.” I said no you don't want to eat the box. He said, “no, ate, ate, ate.” I looked in the box and it was empty. I looked at him puzzled. He stuck his face in the box and said, “ate, ate.” I looked again closely. On the bottom of the box, in the corner, printed in a small font was the number 8. He sees things I don't see, because he pays attention to little things everywhere, like the tiny red dot on the white sheetrock wall he called an “owie.”
六、注重細(xì)節(jié)。
在我兒子兩歲的時候，他指著一個盒子說："ate，ate，ate."（譯者注：跟英語8以及吃的過去式發(fā)音一樣），我跟他說盒子里并沒有他想吃的東西，但他仍舊說："不， ate，ate，ate."我又看了看盒子，里面確實空無一物啊，我非常疑惑地看著他，他將頭探入盒子并繼續(xù)說著："ate，ate，ate".于是我再次仔細(xì)地檢查這個盒子，終于發(fā)現(xiàn)原來在這個盒子底部邊角的地方印著一個小字號的"8"字。他能看到我沒有看到的東西，因為他對周圍的事物都能投以關(guān)注的目光。例如他能留意到小石膏灰膠夾板上的小紅點并把這些小紅點叫做"owie".
7. To stop complaining
Recently my son went through a phase where he complained about everything. His food was too hot, playtime was too short, he didn't want to go to pre-school, everything was “too hard.” This experience forced me to think and come up with a plan to help my son through this phase. I developed some techniques to help him stop complaining. His phase taught me how irritating it is to listen to complaints without solutions. His complaining taught me to listen to myself when I start to gripe and realize complaining isn't going to get me the results I desire. It is one thing to identify something uncomfortable or painful you wish to change, and another to sit and complain about it and do nothing. Solutions provide value - gripes sap energy. Besides, how can I expect my son to stop complaining, if I complain - see #8.
七、停止抱怨。
近段時間，我兒子經(jīng)歷了一個抱怨不斷的時期。在這個時期里，他抱怨食物太燙了，玩耍的時間太少了，他不想去上學(xué)前班，每件事情都覺得很難。他的這種情況逼使我不得不絞盡腦汁，想出法子幫他度過這個喜歡抱怨的時期。他的這個時期讓我體會到當(dāng)聽到不尋求解決方法的抱怨時有多么惱人，他的抱怨也讓我懂得當(dāng)自己不停發(fā)牢騷時應(yīng)該靜下來傾聽自己的心聲，抱怨并不能幫助解決任何問題。此外，確定你希望改變的讓你不舒服或痛苦的東西是一回事，而坐下來空抱怨卻是另一回事。行動提供價值，抱怨則浪費(fèi)精力。同時，如果我自己都在抱怨我又怎能期望我兒子停止抱怨呢？
8. To strive for consistency
If I am inconsistent with my expectations and actions my son won't understand what I expect. For example, if I tell him I won't allow him to jump on the furniture and then let him do it occasionally; he becomes confused and jumps on the furniture trying to understand his limits. The consequences for jumping on the couch are random and he never understands my expectations. If I let his little brother jump on the couch, rest assured, he will say “you let him jump on the couch. Why can't I jump on the couch?” and I won't have a meaningful answer. Since I have seen inconsistency lead to chaos with my 4-year-old, I now believe it will lead to chaos in every area of my life.
八、保持言行一致。
如果我對兒子的期望跟我后來的言行不一致，我兒子就會弄不清楚我究竟期望他怎樣做。舉個例子，我曾經(jīng)告訴他我不允許他在家具上跳，然而我后來又偶爾讓他在家具上跳一跳。于是他漸漸變得困惑，有時候他想知道自己到底能跳多高他就會在家具上跳起來，而且他從不知道我對他有怎樣的期望。如果我又讓他的小哥哥在沙發(fā)上跳，他就會問："你讓哥哥在沙發(fā)上跳，我為什么不可以？"而這時候我通常找不到一個有說服力的理由來回答他。自從我了解到自己的前后不一致給4 歲兒子帶來的困惑，我也開始相信這種不一致也會給我生活的其他領(lǐng)域帶來混亂。
9. How to build a maze with random items in the garage
九、怎樣用車庫中任意的物品建造一個迷宮。
10. To experiment
My son learns everything by experimenting. He learn the rules of the house by experimenting. He must ask questions in his mind at some level - like what will happen if I flick this spoonful of mash potatoes at my little brother? or how will mom react if I eat this bug? Now I'm not recommending that you or anyone else start flicking food at each other or start eating insects just to find out what happens. What I am suggesting is that my son illustrates how we learn. We learn by experimenting. Never stop experimenting.
十、試驗精神。
我兒子通過嘗試學(xué)會任何事情，他通過不斷試驗學(xué)會了家里的規(guī)則。在某種程度上他必須在做某件事情之前先在腦海中問自己一些問題。例如：如果我把這一湯匙馬鈴薯糊潑到哥哥身上會發(fā)生什么情況？或者如果我吃了這個臭蟲媽媽會有什么反應(yīng)？我并不是提倡大家通過將食物潑到別人身上或者通過吃臭蟲來知道事情的后果。我想建議的就是我兒子就是一個例子說明我們都是怎樣學(xué)習(xí)的，我們必須通過不斷嘗試來學(xué)習(xí)，千萬不要放棄嘗試（放棄嘗試就等于放棄學(xué)習(xí)）。
When my son was born, I imagined how I would teach him about life. Little did I know that he would be the teacher. He taught me:
從我兒子呱呱墜地那時起，我就想象著自己應(yīng)該怎樣教給他生活的道理。我從沒想過他竟然也可以成為我的老師，他教會我十件事情：
1. To use positive words
One evening at the dinner table my son said, “Dad this food is disgusting.” I thought - where did that word come from? Another time while I was explaining the rules to a game he said, “Now that's just ridiculous.” A minute later he said, “this is stupid, I give up.” At that moment it dawned on me… He's getting this stuff from me. From now on I better choose my words carefully.
一、使用積極的措詞。
有一天吃晚飯的時候，我兒子跟我說："爸爸，今天的飯菜真討厭。"我一直在想他究竟從哪里學(xué)會"討厭"這個詞。又有一次，我向他解釋一個游戲規(guī)則，他對我說"這個規(guī)則太荒謬了".過了一分鐘他又說："這個游戲?qū)嵲谔薮懒?，我不想玩了?就在那時，我才開始意識到：原來他的這些詞都是從我那學(xué)的。從此以后，我就開始慎重地選擇用詞。
2. To look for opportunity everywhere
My son views the entire world and every new person, new object, or new event as an opportunity to learn something. When a new person walks in the room he wants to know who they are and if they would like to play. If I drop a new object into a cluttered room, he will spot it, touch it, pick it up, ask questions about it. Nothing new goes unnoticed.
二、到處尋找機(jī)會。
我兒子把整個世界，每個新認(rèn)識的人或新接觸的東西都當(dāng)成一次學(xué)習(xí)的機(jī)會。當(dāng)一個他不認(rèn)識的人走進(jìn)房間時，他總是想知道這個人是誰，愿不愿意跟他一起玩。如果我在他的小房間扔一個新東西給他，他總是把這個東西反反復(fù)復(fù)地揣摩，想弄清楚這個東西可以用來做什么。新的東西總是逃不過他的眼睛。
3. A new synonym for persistence
Santa Claus brought my son a white board and a set of dry erase makers for Christmas （can you tell I'm in IT）. My son learned to write very early. He spent months obsessed with writing letters on the white board. One day I looked at the board while he was writing and I saw this combination of capital letters - SHHANDSHOWBO. He also knows how to sound out words, so I asked him what it was. He said, “It's a word I made up - Sha-hand-show-bo.” I asked, “What does it mean?” He said, “To keep trying even when it's hard.” Now when I get frustrated I think - Sha-hand-show-bo.
三、一個表示堅持的新名詞。
圣誕老人送給我們兒子一塊白板和一套橡皮擦作為圣誕禮物。我兒子很早就學(xué)會拼寫了，有好幾個月他每天都趴在白板上寫字母。有一天他正在白板上涂涂寫寫的時候，我湊過去一瞧，發(fā)現(xiàn)他在白板上寫了一列大寫字母：SHAHANDSHOWBO，而且他還知道怎么讀出這個"詞".于是我問他這個詞是什么意思，我兒子很"認(rèn)真"地回答說，"當(dāng)事情很難時，你還是能堅持努力。"現(xiàn)在，每當(dāng)我感到沮喪時，我總會想起這個詞"sha-hand-show- bo".
4. To ask big questions
A few weeks ago our cat was dying. So I explained death to my son and told him our cat was going to heaven. I was amazed that he grasped the permanence of death. Like the other members of my family he was very sad for several days. Then he asked, “Dad, how do you get to heaven?” I said,“Well everyone goes there when they die.” He said, “No I mean, how do you get there? Do go out the door and get in the car? Do you take a rocket?” I had to admit to him that I didn't know how you get to heaven, I just believe in it. A few days latter he asked, “If God made me, who made God?” Good question. I haven't thought about that one in years.
四、問大問題。
幾個星期前，我家的貓快死了，于是我向兒子解釋什么是死亡，并告訴他說我們的貓貓快要去天堂了。我非常驚訝地發(fā)現(xiàn)他竟然很快就能感知死亡是怎么一回事，和家里其他成員一樣，他為此傷心了好幾天。后來他問我："爸爸，你怎樣才能去天堂？"我說："當(dāng)人們死的時候，他們就去了天堂。"我兒子說："我不是說這個，我是說你怎樣才能到達(dá)那里？你是走過去還是搭車去，或者你是搭火箭去？"我聽了忍俊不禁，我不得不向他承認(rèn)我確實并不知道怎樣才能去天堂，我只是相信有天堂這回事。又過了一些天，他又問 "如果上帝創(chuàng)造了我，那誰創(chuàng)造了上帝呢？"這確實是個好問題，多少年我不曾想到這個問題。
5. To accept mistakes
Watching my son grow and learn, it became clear that all learning is based on trying something new, making a mistake, adjusting your actions, trying again, repeating until you get the results you desire. That is how he learned to walk, speak, read, write, build lego walls, set up train tracks, jump, run, and pedal. I can't think of one thing he did right the first time. It is a good thing he has an abundance of sha-hand-show-bo.
五、接受犯錯的事實。
看著兒子不斷地學(xué)習(xí)和成長，我深刻體會到所有的學(xué)習(xí)都基于不斷地嘗試新事物，犯錯，修正行為，繼續(xù)嘗試，重復(fù)直至獲得理想的結(jié)果。我兒子就是通過這樣學(xué)習(xí)走路，講話，讀書，寫字，筑墻（壘高拼裝玩具），拼接火車軌道（玩具），跳躍，奔跑以及騎單車。我想不到有任何一件事情他第一次就可以做對，但他有足夠的sha-hand-show- bo，這的確是一件好事。
6. To pay attention to little details
When my son was 2, he was pointing in a box and saying, “ate, ate, ate, ate.” I said no you don't want to eat the box. He said, “no, ate, ate, ate.” I looked in the box and it was empty. I looked at him puzzled. He stuck his face in the box and said, “ate, ate.” I looked again closely. On the bottom of the box, in the corner, printed in a small font was the number 8. He sees things I don't see, because he pays attention to little things everywhere, like the tiny red dot on the white sheetrock wall he called an “owie.”
六、注重細(xì)節(jié)。
在我兒子兩歲的時候，他指著一個盒子說："ate，ate，ate."（譯者注：跟英語8以及吃的過去式發(fā)音一樣），我跟他說盒子里并沒有他想吃的東西，但他仍舊說："不， ate，ate，ate."我又看了看盒子，里面確實空無一物啊，我非常疑惑地看著他，他將頭探入盒子并繼續(xù)說著："ate，ate，ate".于是我再次仔細(xì)地檢查這個盒子，終于發(fā)現(xiàn)原來在這個盒子底部邊角的地方印著一個小字號的"8"字。他能看到我沒有看到的東西，因為他對周圍的事物都能投以關(guān)注的目光。例如他能留意到小石膏灰膠夾板上的小紅點并把這些小紅點叫做"owie".
7. To stop complaining
Recently my son went through a phase where he complained about everything. His food was too hot, playtime was too short, he didn't want to go to pre-school, everything was “too hard.” This experience forced me to think and come up with a plan to help my son through this phase. I developed some techniques to help him stop complaining. His phase taught me how irritating it is to listen to complaints without solutions. His complaining taught me to listen to myself when I start to gripe and realize complaining isn't going to get me the results I desire. It is one thing to identify something uncomfortable or painful you wish to change, and another to sit and complain about it and do nothing. Solutions provide value - gripes sap energy. Besides, how can I expect my son to stop complaining, if I complain - see #8.
七、停止抱怨。
近段時間，我兒子經(jīng)歷了一個抱怨不斷的時期。在這個時期里，他抱怨食物太燙了，玩耍的時間太少了，他不想去上學(xué)前班，每件事情都覺得很難。他的這種情況逼使我不得不絞盡腦汁，想出法子幫他度過這個喜歡抱怨的時期。他的這個時期讓我體會到當(dāng)聽到不尋求解決方法的抱怨時有多么惱人，他的抱怨也讓我懂得當(dāng)自己不停發(fā)牢騷時應(yīng)該靜下來傾聽自己的心聲，抱怨并不能幫助解決任何問題。此外，確定你希望改變的讓你不舒服或痛苦的東西是一回事，而坐下來空抱怨卻是另一回事。行動提供價值，抱怨則浪費(fèi)精力。同時，如果我自己都在抱怨我又怎能期望我兒子停止抱怨呢？
8. To strive for consistency
If I am inconsistent with my expectations and actions my son won't understand what I expect. For example, if I tell him I won't allow him to jump on the furniture and then let him do it occasionally; he becomes confused and jumps on the furniture trying to understand his limits. The consequences for jumping on the couch are random and he never understands my expectations. If I let his little brother jump on the couch, rest assured, he will say “you let him jump on the couch. Why can't I jump on the couch?” and I won't have a meaningful answer. Since I have seen inconsistency lead to chaos with my 4-year-old, I now believe it will lead to chaos in every area of my life.
八、保持言行一致。
如果我對兒子的期望跟我后來的言行不一致，我兒子就會弄不清楚我究竟期望他怎樣做。舉個例子，我曾經(jīng)告訴他我不允許他在家具上跳，然而我后來又偶爾讓他在家具上跳一跳。于是他漸漸變得困惑，有時候他想知道自己到底能跳多高他就會在家具上跳起來，而且他從不知道我對他有怎樣的期望。如果我又讓他的小哥哥在沙發(fā)上跳，他就會問："你讓哥哥在沙發(fā)上跳，我為什么不可以？"而這時候我通常找不到一個有說服力的理由來回答他。自從我了解到自己的前后不一致給4 歲兒子帶來的困惑，我也開始相信這種不一致也會給我生活的其他領(lǐng)域帶來混亂。
9. How to build a maze with random items in the garage
九、怎樣用車庫中任意的物品建造一個迷宮。
10. To experiment
My son learns everything by experimenting. He learn the rules of the house by experimenting. He must ask questions in his mind at some level - like what will happen if I flick this spoonful of mash potatoes at my little brother? or how will mom react if I eat this bug? Now I'm not recommending that you or anyone else start flicking food at each other or start eating insects just to find out what happens. What I am suggesting is that my son illustrates how we learn. We learn by experimenting. Never stop experimenting.
十、試驗精神。
我兒子通過嘗試學(xué)會任何事情，他通過不斷試驗學(xué)會了家里的規(guī)則。在某種程度上他必須在做某件事情之前先在腦海中問自己一些問題。例如：如果我把這一湯匙馬鈴薯糊潑到哥哥身上會發(fā)生什么情況？或者如果我吃了這個臭蟲媽媽會有什么反應(yīng)？我并不是提倡大家通過將食物潑到別人身上或者通過吃臭蟲來知道事情的后果。我想建議的就是我兒子就是一個例子說明我們都是怎樣學(xué)習(xí)的，我們必須通過不斷嘗試來學(xué)習(xí)，千萬不要放棄嘗試（放棄嘗試就等于放棄學(xué)習(xí)）。