Mama [Mother] （1） caught a dog. How little it was！ It hid behind Mama [Mother] （2） and looked at me shyly. I came up and stroked （撫摸） its head. It lapped [licked] （3） my hand friendly [in a friendly way] （4）。 I called it“Baby”。
Baby was black and it was a“girl”， but it wasn't tender （幼弱的）。 It was fond of playing with people. For example， sometimes it took one of my shoes away， sometimes it waved its tail running in front of me.
Baby liked to eat meat and bone very much. Mother said that it was too picky （過(guò)分挑剔的）， like a young lady.
Soon， Baby grew up. It often played with other dogs. A month later， I found its belly （肚子） became big， and I knew that Baby would become a mother. So I took better care of it than before.
In two months， on the new year's eve， Baby gave birth to four little dogs. Two were grey and the other two were black， like their mother. Dad， Mama [Mum] （5） and I were all pleased. Mama [Mum] （6） collected some hay for them.
But unfortunately， Baby died several days later. That day I heard Baby cried [cry] （7） sorrowfully. I was afraid. My cousin said it must have eaten the poison for mice. I called for a vet （獸醫(yī)） in a hurry. But before the vet came Baby had stopped its breathe [breathing] （8）。 We were all sad. We buried Baby. Then three of her babies were sent [given away] （9） to others. I have kept a black one， like its mother. I call it“Little Baby”。
Now I take good care of“Little Baby”and I love it as much as I loved its mother. I hope it will be as lovely as its mother and become my friend too.
江蘇省南通師范學(xué)校五普四（2）班 盧霞
評(píng) 語(yǔ)
全文雖大多為簡(jiǎn)單句，但讀來(lái)生動(dòng)有趣，現(xiàn)就文章某些語(yǔ)言上的不足討論如下：
（1）、（2）據(jù)Longman詞典，mama（或mamma）現(xiàn)在已很少使用，現(xiàn)在一般用mum（或美國(guó)英語(yǔ)mom）。其實(shí)在文章開(kāi)頭，還是用mother較為正式一些。
（3）lap意為“舐食”。其實(shí)這里根據(jù)上下文，應(yīng)該用lick（舔）。
（4）friendly是形容詞，不能當(dāng)副詞作狀語(yǔ)用。請(qǐng)?zhí)貏e注意-ly結(jié)尾的形容詞，常見(jiàn)的還有l(wèi)ovely，lively等。
（5）、（6）與Dad并列，用mum，見(jiàn)注（1）、（2）。
（7）hear/see等感官動(dòng)詞表示“聽(tīng)到/看到某人（某物）干什么”時(shí)，要用“hear/see +賓語(yǔ)+賓語(yǔ)補(bǔ)足語(yǔ)”的句型，而不能用“hear/see +賓語(yǔ)從句”，因?yàn)閔ear/see后接從句時(shí)已不是“看到/聽(tīng)到”的意思，而是“聽(tīng)說(shuō)/明白”的意思，請(qǐng)比較：
I heard him come in. 我聽(tīng)見(jiàn)他進(jìn)來(lái)。
I heard （that） he would come. 我聽(tīng)說(shuō)他會(huì)來(lái)。
（8）breathe是動(dòng)詞，breath是名詞，請(qǐng)不要混淆。但這里直接用breathing（動(dòng)名詞）即可。
（9）send有“派去”的意思。其實(shí)根據(jù)上下文，這里是“把……送人”的意思，可用give away.
Baby was black and it was a“girl”， but it wasn't tender （幼弱的）。 It was fond of playing with people. For example， sometimes it took one of my shoes away， sometimes it waved its tail running in front of me.
Baby liked to eat meat and bone very much. Mother said that it was too picky （過(guò)分挑剔的）， like a young lady.
Soon， Baby grew up. It often played with other dogs. A month later， I found its belly （肚子） became big， and I knew that Baby would become a mother. So I took better care of it than before.
In two months， on the new year's eve， Baby gave birth to four little dogs. Two were grey and the other two were black， like their mother. Dad， Mama [Mum] （5） and I were all pleased. Mama [Mum] （6） collected some hay for them.
But unfortunately， Baby died several days later. That day I heard Baby cried [cry] （7） sorrowfully. I was afraid. My cousin said it must have eaten the poison for mice. I called for a vet （獸醫(yī)） in a hurry. But before the vet came Baby had stopped its breathe [breathing] （8）。 We were all sad. We buried Baby. Then three of her babies were sent [given away] （9） to others. I have kept a black one， like its mother. I call it“Little Baby”。
Now I take good care of“Little Baby”and I love it as much as I loved its mother. I hope it will be as lovely as its mother and become my friend too.
江蘇省南通師范學(xué)校五普四（2）班 盧霞
評(píng) 語(yǔ)
全文雖大多為簡(jiǎn)單句，但讀來(lái)生動(dòng)有趣，現(xiàn)就文章某些語(yǔ)言上的不足討論如下：
（1）、（2）據(jù)Longman詞典，mama（或mamma）現(xiàn)在已很少使用，現(xiàn)在一般用mum（或美國(guó)英語(yǔ)mom）。其實(shí)在文章開(kāi)頭，還是用mother較為正式一些。
（3）lap意為“舐食”。其實(shí)這里根據(jù)上下文，應(yīng)該用lick（舔）。
（4）friendly是形容詞，不能當(dāng)副詞作狀語(yǔ)用。請(qǐng)?zhí)貏e注意-ly結(jié)尾的形容詞，常見(jiàn)的還有l(wèi)ovely，lively等。
（5）、（6）與Dad并列，用mum，見(jiàn)注（1）、（2）。
（7）hear/see等感官動(dòng)詞表示“聽(tīng)到/看到某人（某物）干什么”時(shí)，要用“hear/see +賓語(yǔ)+賓語(yǔ)補(bǔ)足語(yǔ)”的句型，而不能用“hear/see +賓語(yǔ)從句”，因?yàn)閔ear/see后接從句時(shí)已不是“看到/聽(tīng)到”的意思，而是“聽(tīng)說(shuō)/明白”的意思，請(qǐng)比較：
I heard him come in. 我聽(tīng)見(jiàn)他進(jìn)來(lái)。
I heard （that） he would come. 我聽(tīng)說(shuō)他會(huì)來(lái)。
（8）breathe是動(dòng)詞，breath是名詞，請(qǐng)不要混淆。但這里直接用breathing（動(dòng)名詞）即可。
（9）send有“派去”的意思。其實(shí)根據(jù)上下文，這里是“把……送人”的意思，可用give away.