In Grade One， I knew Xia Honglin， who left a deep impression on me. Now， I still often think of him.
At school， Xia Honglin was always wearing thicker clothes. He never had classes of PE（體育課）and he seldom laughed. But he was very friendly to everyone. He always did exceedingly well in his studies. However hard we tried， no one could catch up with him. At a parents' meeting， his mother said，“My son's achievements depend on his efforts. He spends at least fourteen hours on study every day. He is having a race with time.”
Soon， I knew [came to know] （1） the story of Xia Honglin. He had a serious heart disease. A year before he went to middle school， he had been installed an import cardiac pacemaker[had got an imported cardio-pacemaker（進(jìn)口的心臟起搏器）implanted in his body] （2） This cost his family 100000 yuan， so his family became much poorer. As being [to be] （3） a university student was Xia Honglin's only wish， his three sisters had to discontinue their studies（輟學(xué)）to help their brother realize his wish. Having heard this story， I suddenly understood why Xia Honglin studied so hard——he wanted to repay his family with his hard work.
Unfortunately， just in that year， in that cold winter， he caught a cold which caused heart trouble again. he was sent to hospital immediately. At night， he was suddenly very excited， so he took out the [a] （4） book to read and said to his parents： “Tomorrow， I will return to school.”But a few minutes later， his face suddenly turned black and he became short of breath. At the moment he seemed to realize that death would come [was coming] （5）。 He grasped his parents' hands：“Dad， Mom， I can't realize my wish. How I admire [envy] （6） my classmates， because they have a chance to go to school， while I don't have a chance any longer…”
Now Xia Honglin has been dead for four years， but his image has been engraved（銘刻）on my memory. And his words“I don't have a chance any longer”will make me value more my chance of learning and study harder.
江蘇省鹽城市中等專業(yè)學(xué)校94級(jí)經(jīng)貿(mào)外語(yǔ)班 楊麗
評(píng) 語(yǔ)
作者講述的是關(guān)于一個(gè)令人難忘的好學(xué)生，盡管身患重病，還是頑強(qiáng)地與病魔抗?fàn)?，?jiān)持學(xué)習(xí)，直至生命的后一刻的故事。在即將離開(kāi)這個(gè)美好世界的時(shí)候，他嘆惜的不是別的，而是喪失了繼續(xù)學(xué)習(xí)的機(jī)會(huì)。這對(duì)我們每一個(gè)健康的人來(lái)說(shuō)是多么深刻的觸動(dòng)！富蘭克林說(shuō)過(guò)：Dost thou（你）love life？ Then do not squander（浪費(fèi)）time； for that's the stuff （材料）life is made of. 我們一定要珍惜時(shí)間，勤奮學(xué)習(xí)，才能對(duì)得起人生。文章中某些語(yǔ)言上的不足之處點(diǎn)評(píng)修改如下：
（1）come to know表示“開(kāi)始了解”。
（2）原句動(dòng)詞install表示“安裝”。另外句型也有不妥之處，故改之。
（3）還未實(shí)現(xiàn)的事情，用不定式為好，也可避免把a(bǔ)s誤認(rèn)為介詞。
（4）這里上下文沒(méi)有提到過(guò)book，不宜用the，用a為好。
（5）用過(guò)去進(jìn)行時(shí)表示即將發(fā)生之事，更為生動(dòng)。
（6）這里admire用得不對(duì)。很多學(xué)生想表示“羨慕”時(shí)，常用admire，其實(shí)admire并不對(duì)等“羨慕”。Longman詞典對(duì)admire的解釋是“regard…with pleasure and respect”或者“l(fā)ook at with pleasure”。顯然，用在這里均不妥。其實(shí)，在很多場(chǎng)合我們所要表達(dá)的“羨慕”，要用envy這個(gè)動(dòng)詞。envy（或be envious）與be jealous不同，后者有貶義，而envy沒(méi)有。
At school， Xia Honglin was always wearing thicker clothes. He never had classes of PE（體育課）and he seldom laughed. But he was very friendly to everyone. He always did exceedingly well in his studies. However hard we tried， no one could catch up with him. At a parents' meeting， his mother said，“My son's achievements depend on his efforts. He spends at least fourteen hours on study every day. He is having a race with time.”
Soon， I knew [came to know] （1） the story of Xia Honglin. He had a serious heart disease. A year before he went to middle school， he had been installed an import cardiac pacemaker[had got an imported cardio-pacemaker（進(jìn)口的心臟起搏器）implanted in his body] （2） This cost his family 100000 yuan， so his family became much poorer. As being [to be] （3） a university student was Xia Honglin's only wish， his three sisters had to discontinue their studies（輟學(xué)）to help their brother realize his wish. Having heard this story， I suddenly understood why Xia Honglin studied so hard——he wanted to repay his family with his hard work.
Unfortunately， just in that year， in that cold winter， he caught a cold which caused heart trouble again. he was sent to hospital immediately. At night， he was suddenly very excited， so he took out the [a] （4） book to read and said to his parents： “Tomorrow， I will return to school.”But a few minutes later， his face suddenly turned black and he became short of breath. At the moment he seemed to realize that death would come [was coming] （5）。 He grasped his parents' hands：“Dad， Mom， I can't realize my wish. How I admire [envy] （6） my classmates， because they have a chance to go to school， while I don't have a chance any longer…”
Now Xia Honglin has been dead for four years， but his image has been engraved（銘刻）on my memory. And his words“I don't have a chance any longer”will make me value more my chance of learning and study harder.
江蘇省鹽城市中等專業(yè)學(xué)校94級(jí)經(jīng)貿(mào)外語(yǔ)班 楊麗
評(píng) 語(yǔ)
作者講述的是關(guān)于一個(gè)令人難忘的好學(xué)生，盡管身患重病，還是頑強(qiáng)地與病魔抗?fàn)?，?jiān)持學(xué)習(xí)，直至生命的后一刻的故事。在即將離開(kāi)這個(gè)美好世界的時(shí)候，他嘆惜的不是別的，而是喪失了繼續(xù)學(xué)習(xí)的機(jī)會(huì)。這對(duì)我們每一個(gè)健康的人來(lái)說(shuō)是多么深刻的觸動(dòng)！富蘭克林說(shuō)過(guò)：Dost thou（你）love life？ Then do not squander（浪費(fèi)）time； for that's the stuff （材料）life is made of. 我們一定要珍惜時(shí)間，勤奮學(xué)習(xí)，才能對(duì)得起人生。文章中某些語(yǔ)言上的不足之處點(diǎn)評(píng)修改如下：
（1）come to know表示“開(kāi)始了解”。
（2）原句動(dòng)詞install表示“安裝”。另外句型也有不妥之處，故改之。
（3）還未實(shí)現(xiàn)的事情，用不定式為好，也可避免把a(bǔ)s誤認(rèn)為介詞。
（4）這里上下文沒(méi)有提到過(guò)book，不宜用the，用a為好。
（5）用過(guò)去進(jìn)行時(shí)表示即將發(fā)生之事，更為生動(dòng)。
（6）這里admire用得不對(duì)。很多學(xué)生想表示“羨慕”時(shí)，常用admire，其實(shí)admire并不對(duì)等“羨慕”。Longman詞典對(duì)admire的解釋是“regard…with pleasure and respect”或者“l(fā)ook at with pleasure”。顯然，用在這里均不妥。其實(shí)，在很多場(chǎng)合我們所要表達(dá)的“羨慕”，要用envy這個(gè)動(dòng)詞。envy（或be envious）與be jealous不同，后者有貶義，而envy沒(méi)有。