Mother wasn't fond of animals. I had never seen her keep a bird or a cat as a pet until last Sunday when she told me she was going to keep some goldfish. I was quite surprised to hear that and didn't believe it was true. But the next day， Mother came home happily with some pieces of glass， a small bottle of glue and some little goldfish. That evening I saw my parents [Motherand Father] （1） making a goldfish bowl with the glass. The third [following] （2） morning when the glue became dry， they put the fish and water into the bowl.
Mother looked very happy when she looked at the fish in the bowl. “How do you like my fish？” she asked me. “I'm afraid you forget something important，” I said. Mother looked at me in surprise. “Please tell me what it is.” “The food for fish，” I answered. “Oh God！ How foolish I am！ I even didn't know fish needs food，” she said with her eyes wide open.
“But Mom， why did you suddenly begin to keep fish？” I asked.
“Oh， for your sake，” she said， “I read your composition 'Fish' last week. That was terrible. You didn't know how fish lived. Now you can watch the way fish lives. And I hope you'll write better next time.”
陜西省長安縣第205研究所附屬中學高三（2）班 林峻
評 語
抓住生活中的一幕進行描寫讀來生動自然。從母親不喜歡動物到突然開始養(yǎng)魚，設(shè)置了“懸念”，最后通過母子對話道出了原因，使“母親養(yǎng)魚”有了較深的意義。文章中某些語言上的不足之處點評修改如下：
（1）這里改為用mother和father更親切。
（2）這里用following較好。
Mother looked very happy when she looked at the fish in the bowl. “How do you like my fish？” she asked me. “I'm afraid you forget something important，” I said. Mother looked at me in surprise. “Please tell me what it is.” “The food for fish，” I answered. “Oh God！ How foolish I am！ I even didn't know fish needs food，” she said with her eyes wide open.
“But Mom， why did you suddenly begin to keep fish？” I asked.
“Oh， for your sake，” she said， “I read your composition 'Fish' last week. That was terrible. You didn't know how fish lived. Now you can watch the way fish lives. And I hope you'll write better next time.”
陜西省長安縣第205研究所附屬中學高三（2）班 林峻
評 語
抓住生活中的一幕進行描寫讀來生動自然。從母親不喜歡動物到突然開始養(yǎng)魚，設(shè)置了“懸念”，最后通過母子對話道出了原因，使“母親養(yǎng)魚”有了較深的意義。文章中某些語言上的不足之處點評修改如下：
（1）這里改為用mother和father更親切。
（2）這里用following較好。