我對(duì)自己習(xí)作的點(diǎn)評(píng)

字號(hào):

我的習(xí)作,期待大家的點(diǎn)評(píng)。
    ssue
    "Colleges and universities should offer more courses on popular music,
    film, advertising and television because contemporary culture has much
    greater relevance for students than do arts and literature of the past."
    Essay
    Few people, if asked, would deny that colleges and universities should
    offer art and literature courses to students. Yet when it comes to whether
    other courses like popular music, film, advertising and television should
    make up a greater portion in the curriculum, there is hardly a consensus.
    I, however, hold the opinion that the classical classes should always be
    most important.
    Before trapping myself into needless arguments, let me first make an
    analyis of what role our higher education plays in this modern society.
    Universities, different from the career training courses, are supposed to
    teach great values to people, especially young people, so that these values
    will take roots in their minds and mode them into truely gentle and kind
    men and women. In a sense, what universities preach are "useless"
    knowledge, in the light of practical uses. Here, I by no means refer to the
    word "useless" in a negative way, rather, I believe it is just the so-
    called useless knowledge that makes human beings true human beings. It
    teaches us to cherish kindness and tolerance to othes; to take care of all
    kind of people, be them our parents or strangers; to seek ultimate truth of
    the mystery of nature,and so on. In a word, arts and literature courses of
    the past aim to build men and women into liberal and kind persons.They are
    looing further than their own merits. They are possibly commercial leaders,
    policy makers, NGO founders; But most importantly, people trained in this
    way will keep all people's welfare in their minds rather than thier own.
    On the contrary, career training only focuses on survival skills. People
    can turn out to be very efficient or handy after they have taken up these
    courses. Unfortunately, there is little hope that they can learn real
    values to be a man, not a manager or an engineer .
    In the similar way, offering more courses on popular music, film,
    advertising and television will have the same effect. Admittedly, they are
    more relevant with our daily life and are prone to attract more attention
    from the mass, I still cast doubt on the "relevant values". A true artists
    should not act by catering to his audience. He or she is destined to say
    what he or she wants to say, even if none will echo it. Time is their
    belief. They are working for Time and audience thousands of years later.
    Relevance of reality will extort the seriousnes of their works to a large
    extent .
    I do not look down upon practical entertainment. But I believe there are
    already plenty of popular music, funny films, attractive advertisments and
    soap series. They are produced more in a manufacturing way rather than a
    art-creating way. Music and film are more and more taking on a look of
    products in this post-modern society, which reaveals a sharp contrast with
    what they used to be.
    Colleges and universities should resume the responsibility to guard our
    classical values and the "useless" knowledge. While career training courses
    are accomplishing their aim of making attractive things, higher education
    should stick to their tough goal for they are the paradise for human's
    thoughts.
    In summary, I strongly suggest college and universities remain classical
    arts and literature courses and leave those relevant with contemporary
    culture to other schools.
    (553字)
    我的點(diǎn)評(píng)和感想如下:
    1。由于審題太匆忙,而且這個(gè)題目與我喜歡的話題比較相近,我竟然偏題了。把a(bǔ)rts and
    literature of the past理解成了以前的大學(xué)生所學(xué)的art and literature,也就是古典
    藝術(shù)和文學(xué)。所以我文中出現(xiàn)的都是classical云云。還好這樣的理解,也勉強(qiáng)說得通。所以
    不算太偏題。但是很明顯,我和范文的立意走的是不同的路。范文強(qiáng)調(diào)的是古代的知識(shí)和現(xiàn)
    代的知識(shí)對(duì)現(xiàn)代人的影響,而我強(qiáng)調(diào)的是,大學(xué)應(yīng)該保留“無用的知識(shí)”以維系人類之所以
    為人的尊嚴(yán),這是大學(xué)和一般的職業(yè)教育區(qū)別所在。
    2。范文比較balanced,既說現(xiàn)當(dāng)代的好,也說以前的好,最后還總結(jié)學(xué)生既應(yīng)學(xué)習(xí)現(xiàn)代的,
    也應(yīng)該學(xué)習(xí)古代的。而我的作文里,雖然也提到兩方面,但是對(duì)古代的情有獨(dú)鐘,花了很多
    筆墨。另外,我還提到了職業(yè)教育。不知道這樣是不是扯得太遠(yuǎn)。相比之下,我的傾向性很
    強(qiáng)。(當(dāng)然,反對(duì)世俗的文化教育,是我一貫的態(tài)度。)
    3。在旁征博引方面,我顯然遜色多了。其實(shí)我今天寫的太急,忘了應(yīng)該舉例(我一碰到喜歡
    的話題就滔滔不絕的說理,只有寫不出大道理時(shí)才會(huì)想起舉例子。其實(shí)這樣真是揚(yáng)短避長,
    因?yàn)楫吘刮覀円糜⑽恼f理,并不是很得心應(yīng)手的)。但是范文的例子,雖然我可以為之擊
    掌,卻覺得用不上。即使那些例子我都知道,也不知道相應(yīng)的英文怎么說。尤其是人名地
    名。所以我覺得這方面嘉文博譯有些疏忽了。他光顧著把文章寫的漂亮,忘了對(duì)普通學(xué)生的
    借鑒性。
    4。我覺得我在句式變化方面做的還好,但是動(dòng)詞的生動(dòng)性顯然不如范文,這也是我要努力的
    地方。
    我暫時(shí)想到的就這么多,很希望各位給我一點(diǎn)意見,多多批評(píng)指正!