愚人節(jié)短信大全:搞笑愚人節(jié)英文短信

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這篇愚人節(jié)短信:搞笑愚人節(jié)英文短信,是特地為大家整理的,希望對大家有所幫助!
    愚人節(jié)短信:搞笑愚人節(jié)英文短信
    Wifetalkingtoherhusband(whoreadsnewspaperallday):IwishIwereanewspapersoI'llbeinyourhandsallday.
    Husband:Iwishthattoo,soIcouldchangeyoudaily
    Alittleboyaskedhisfather:Daddy,howmuchdoesitcosttogetmarried?
    Thefatherreplied:Idon'tknowson.I'mstillpaying!!
    Atmidnightfathersawthathismarriedsonleavinghome...Heaskshim:whatareyoudoing?
    Thesonreplied:DadIamfedupwithmylife!Mynewlymarriageisnotgoingwell,mywifeandmymomkeepfightingwitheachother!Ihavetopaybillsformyin-laws,andIhatethislife!!!Iwanttogofarfromhere,Iwanttotasteeveryjoyoflife,andIwanttohaveeveryfunoflife!!!
    Fathersaid:Wait!!!!!!!!Iamcomingwithyou
    AwomangoestoEnglandtoattenda2-weekcompanytrainingsession.Herhusbanddriveshertotheairportandwisheshertohaveagoodtrip.
    Thewifeanswered:Thankyouhoney,whatwouldyoulikemetobringforyou?
    Thehusbandlaughedandsaid:AnEnglishgirl!!!
    Thewomankeptquietandleft.Twoweekslaterhepickedherupintheairportandasked:Sohoney,howwasthetrip?
    Thewife:Verygood,thankyou.
    Thehusband:And,whathappenedtomypresent?
    Thewife:Whichpresent?
    Thehusband:WhatIaskedfor:theEnglishgirl?
    Thewife:Oh,that!Well,IdidwhatIcould;nowwehavetowaitafewmonthstoseeifit’sagirl!!!
    AcouplegoestoanartgalleryTheyfindapictureofanakedwomanwithonlyherprivatescoveredwithleaves.Thewifedoesn'tlikeitandmoveson,butthehusbandkeepslooking.Thewifeasks,"Whatareyouwaitingfor?"Thehusbandreplies,"autumn."
    Amanissittingreadinghisnewspaperwhenthewifesneaksupbehindhimandwhackshimontheheadwithafryingpan."Whatthehellwasthatfor?"heasks."ThatwasforthepieceofpaperinyourtrouserpocketswiththenameMaryEllenwrittenonit,"shereplies.Don'tbesilly,"hesays."TwoweeksagowhenIwenttotheraces,MaryEllenwasthenameofoneofthehorsesIbeton."Sheseemssatisfiedatthis,andsheapologizes.Threedayslaterhe'sagainsittinginhischairreadingwhenshenailshimwithanevenbiggerfryingpan,knockinghimoutcold.Whenhecomesaround,heasksagain,"Whatthehellwasthatfor?""Yourfuckinghorsejustphoned."
    Wifetohusband:youweresodrunklastnightthatyouinsultedyourboss.
    Husband:pissonhim!Wife:youdidandhefiredyou!
    Husband:fuckhim!
    Wife:Ididandyoucangobacktoworktomorrow.
    Acoupledroveseveralmilesdownacountryroadwithintensesilence.Notawordwassaidtoeachother.Anearlierdiscussionhadledtoanargumentandneitherwantedtoconcedehisposition.Astheypassedabarnyardofmulesandpigs,thewifesarcasticallyasked,"Relativesofyours?""Yep,"thehusbandreplied,"in-laws".