2014考研復(fù)習(xí):北外高翻學(xué)院入學(xué)考試閱卷感想

字號(hào):


    2013年閱卷中發(fā)現(xiàn)的主要問題,與往年相同。為了對(duì)今后報(bào)考的人有些指導(dǎo),這里再次做簡(jiǎn)單歸納。我主要負(fù)責(zé)批改第四題,就先講這一題。原文是:
    我認(rèn)識(shí)一位從中國(guó)來(lái)美國(guó)的暑期交換學(xué)生,她告訴我一件她覺得奇怪的事情。她寄宿在一個(gè)美國(guó)人的家里。這家夫婦倆都是律師,有4個(gè)從上高中到小學(xué)的男孩。那個(gè)人家房子很大,有游艇和私人飛機(jī),非常富有的樣子,生活卻很簡(jiǎn)單。有一次,父母兩人出外度假,臨走前在家里的大冰箱里為留在家里的4個(gè)孩子放好一模一樣大小的4份食品,不分大小,每人一份。而且,還給他們每人分配一份工作,修整草地、洗游泳池、清理廚房、廁所等等。這4個(gè)孩子,大的食品不夠吃,小的吃不了。大的向小的要,小的就以代做自己那一份家事為條件,把吃不了的分一些給大的。
    這確實(shí)是一個(gè)典型的美國(guó)家庭,說(shuō)它典型,不是說(shuō)它擁有的財(cái)產(chǎn)(這個(gè)家庭顯然要比許多其他美國(guó)家庭富有),而是說(shuō)它的價(jià)值觀。
      主要問題包括:
     一、相當(dāng)一部分同學(xué),語(yǔ)法錯(cuò)誤滿篇,水平差距很大。
     我請(qǐng)這些同學(xué)放棄僥幸心理,等外語(yǔ)達(dá)到較高水平時(shí),再報(bào)考不遲;不要浪費(fèi)自己的精力和老師的精力。如果是想測(cè)試自己距離北外的要求還有多遠(yuǎn),也不需要通過(guò)考試。做份卷子或隨便翻譯一篇東西,找老師看看,如果超過(guò)三處語(yǔ)法錯(cuò)誤或拼寫錯(cuò)誤(漢譯英),就不會(huì)有錄取的希望。因?yàn)檎Z(yǔ)法錯(cuò)誤、拼寫錯(cuò)誤,往往伴隨用詞不當(dāng)、搭配不當(dāng)、句子結(jié)構(gòu)不當(dāng)。這就說(shuō)明差距很大,沒有任何錄取希望。
    二、為了增加句子的復(fù)雜程度,隨意把句子連接起來(lái)。
     翻譯的目的是為了有效的交流,不是為了“炫技”。高考時(shí)騙老師的那一套,根本別拿來(lái)使用。不要總想著在主句前后用個(gè)分詞短語(yǔ)、with短語(yǔ),加上which、that;這樣做弄巧成拙。不是不可用,而是不可濫用。這個(gè)問題在第3題表現(xiàn)更突出。
    原譯1:She temporarily lived in an American family of six members,with the couple both lawyers and four boys old enough to attend school,with the eldest in high school and the youngest in primary school.
    原譯2:She went to an American homestay with the couple both being lawyer and four boys ranging from primary to high school.
    改譯:She lived in an American family.The parents were both lawyers and the four boys were attending primary to high school.
      也有同學(xué)做得很好:
    1.She was hosted by an American family.The couple were both lawyers and they had four sons attending schools ranging from high school to primary school.
    2.She was living with an American family,and the couple were both lawyers.They had four boys who were attending primary to high school.
      再舉一例:
    1.I have recognized an exchange student during summer vocation coming from China to America who told me a thing that she felt strange.
    2.I was familiar with an exchange student for summer vacation from China to America who told me one thing that she felt strange.
      直截了當(dāng)翻譯即可:
    I know a student who came to the United States for a summer exchange program.She told me a story she felt strange.
     三、譯文邏輯。原文有幾處邏輯問題,譯文如能改進(jìn),會(huì)使故事更通順。
     如:原文說(shuō),這家人有飛機(jī)、有游艇,但又說(shuō)他們過(guò)著簡(jiǎn)單的生活,這不符合邏輯。如果說(shuō)這簡(jiǎn)單的生活,是指夫婦外出時(shí),讓孩子吃方便面之類的東西,又與文章的重點(diǎn)(談價(jià)值觀,但又不清楚是什么價(jià)值觀)不符合。所以,原文沒寫好。如果譯文以某種方式把“簡(jiǎn)單的生活”做合理化處理,會(huì)使譯文更加通順(實(shí)際工作中可能需要和作者聯(lián)系,讓他修改原文)。當(dāng)然,不處理也不扣分。畢竟不是你們的責(zé)任。再如,留在家里的食品,是夠每個(gè)孩子吃一頓,還是吃幾天,原文沒說(shuō)清楚。多數(shù)同學(xué)翻譯的,像是只留了一頓飯。但看起來(lái)夫婦是去度長(zhǎng)假,所以,翻譯為只留了一頓飯,似乎不合情理。譯文要處理得模糊一些,讓人看不出是幾頓飯,但能猜出是幾天的飯。又如,如果是留了幾天的飯,中國(guó)學(xué)生是每到吃飯的時(shí)候,就看到兄弟幾個(gè)討價(jià)還價(jià),還是就看到那么一次。原文也沒說(shuō)清楚。從邏輯來(lái)看,夫婦倆只留了一頓飯,哥幾個(gè)只交換一次更為合理。但兩口子又好像是長(zhǎng)期到外邊休假。矛盾。第四,原文說(shuō)拿食物交換工作,用的是“代做自己那一份家事”,給人的印象是,小的一點(diǎn)不用做了,不符合情理。譯文如果解釋為“幫做自己的那份家事”,就更合情理。
    另外,原文說(shuō)到飛機(jī)、游艇,想必是一個(gè),不少同學(xué)翻譯為復(fù)數(shù),令人難以置信。還有的同學(xué)理解游艇存放在家里,也不合邏輯。一般就放在海邊。至于飛機(jī)放哪里,文章也沒說(shuō),不好隨便猜測(cè)院子很大,放得下飛機(jī)。也許存放在某個(gè)機(jī)場(chǎng)。所以,譯文也不能太具體,避免把地方說(shuō)錯(cuò)了。說(shuō)到“大的”、“小的”,有同學(xué)翻譯為the younger one,the older one,各自成了一個(gè)人。用復(fù)數(shù)更符合邏輯。不用精確說(shuō)明誰(shuí)跟誰(shuí)要。
    總之,原文充滿了矛盾或不符合邏輯之處。要翻譯好,講一個(gè)令人信服的故事,并不容易。實(shí)際上,我們平時(shí)翻譯的材料,好多就是這樣的水平。把這些烏七雜八的東西翻譯為好文章,才能顯示一個(gè)譯者的功力。
    最后,我懷疑原文作者根本沒聽過(guò)這個(gè)故事,是自己為了說(shuō)明一個(gè)所謂的道理,自己胡編出來(lái)的。也許是作者寫的很清楚,被試題的改編者破壞了邏輯。再就是我懷疑,這對(duì)夫婦留一樣多的食物,也沒打算讓他們交換。是那小的猴精,趁人之危,讓哥哥替自己干活。這樣的事情在中國(guó)也會(huì)出現(xiàn);作者無(wú)限上綱,憑空發(fā)了好些無(wú)謂的感慨。這是題外話,與翻譯無(wú)關(guān)。你們有時(shí)間,可以查查這篇東西的來(lái)源。
    四、時(shí)態(tài)。原文講述過(guò)去發(fā)生的故事。整個(gè)故事的敘述用過(guò)去時(shí)。即使律師夫婦還沒有把飛機(jī)賣掉、孩子還呆在原來(lái)的學(xué)校。
    五、其他問題包括:不區(qū)分可數(shù)不可數(shù),如a food;house,yacht,plane等可數(shù)名詞不知道加冠詞;搭配不知所云:view of/on values,outlook of values等等。
    這里提供一份經(jīng)修改的考生譯文:
    I know a Chinese student who was in the United States on a summer exchange program.She told me something that she felt strange.She was hosted by an American family.The couple were both lawyers and they had four sons attending primary to high school.The family lived in a large house and had a yacht and a private jet.They looked really rich,but their life was simple.Once,the parents were leaving home for a holiday.Before departure,they stored in the big refrigerator four portions of food.The portions were identical:the same food,the same amount.Each boy would have one portion,old or young.In addition,each boy was assigned a job:mowing the lawn,cleaning the swimming pool,cleaning the kitchen,and cleaning the toilet.Among the four children,the older ones did not have enough to eat and the younger ones had too much.When the older ones demanded food from the younger ones,the young ones would only agree to share if the older ones helped them with their housework.
    This is a typical American family.It is typical not because of its assets—this family was obviously much richer than others—but because of the values it encourages.
    第三題我也批改了一些。原文如下:
    我們要大力發(fā)展社會(huì)事業(yè)。堅(jiān)持優(yōu)先發(fā)展教育,穩(wěn)步提升全民受教育程度。堅(jiān)持自主創(chuàng)新、重點(diǎn)跨越、支撐發(fā)展、引領(lǐng)未來(lái)的方針,完善科技創(chuàng)新體系和支持政策,著力推進(jìn)重大科學(xué)技術(shù)突破。研究與試驗(yàn)發(fā)展經(jīng)費(fèi)支出占國(guó)內(nèi)生產(chǎn)總值比重達(dá)到2。2%,促進(jìn)科技成果更好地轉(zhuǎn)化為生產(chǎn)力。適應(yīng)現(xiàn)代化建設(shè)需要,加強(qiáng)人才培養(yǎng),努力造就規(guī)模宏大的高素質(zhì)人才隊(duì)伍。大力加強(qiáng)文化建設(shè),推動(dòng)文化改革發(fā)展實(shí)現(xiàn)新跨越,滿足人民群眾不斷增長(zhǎng)的精神文化需求。
    第一個(gè)問題是時(shí)態(tài)錯(cuò)誤。第一句有主語(yǔ),其余是無(wú)主句。但可以推定,其余句子的主語(yǔ)都是“我們”。問題出在“研究與試驗(yàn)發(fā)展經(jīng)費(fèi)支出占國(guó)內(nèi)生產(chǎn)總值比重達(dá)到2。2%,促進(jìn)科技成果更好地轉(zhuǎn)化為生產(chǎn)力?!边@句話的意思是“我們要使研究與試驗(yàn)發(fā)展經(jīng)費(fèi)支出占國(guó)內(nèi)生產(chǎn)總值比重達(dá)到2。2%,我們要促進(jìn)科技成果更好地轉(zhuǎn)化為生產(chǎn)力。”總理(或任何人)之所以說(shuō)這樣的話,是因?yàn)橹袊?guó)的R&D在GDP中占比較低;同時(shí),科研成果被塵封,沒有商業(yè)化(commercialize)。
    這段話翻譯時(shí)的另一個(gè)問題,是在并列的意思之間亂加連詞,表達(dá)本不存在的邏輯關(guān)系。例如:
    With cost expenditure for research and experiments accounting for 2.2%of our GDP,we can better transfer the outcomings into productive forces.
    提高科研經(jīng)費(fèi)占比與科技轉(zhuǎn)化是并列關(guān)系,用with表示因果關(guān)系,情態(tài)也不對(duì)。這似乎是總理某個(gè)領(lǐng)導(dǎo)人的講話,是ZF的工作規(guī)劃,是我們打算怎么做,不是我們可以怎么做。
    再如:
    We must greatly engage in social development.We must give top priority to education by steadily raising people’s educational level.
    用by表示方式。試想:通過(guò)提高人民的教育水平,來(lái)重視教育,這個(gè)邏輯說(shuō)得通嗎?
    類似的例子還有很多。在增加連接詞之前,要想想:有這個(gè)邏輯關(guān)系嗎?你們可能被一種觀念所誤導(dǎo):英語(yǔ)是形合,漢語(yǔ)是意合,所以,漢譯英的時(shí)候要增加連接詞。不錯(cuò),個(gè)別情況下是這樣。但英語(yǔ)和漢語(yǔ)一樣,意合占多數(shù)。形合的地方,也是因?yàn)榇_實(shí)存在某種邏輯關(guān)系。不是任意增加連接詞。
    本段的邏輯見以下參考譯文:
    We will develop social programs.We will give priority to education in order to improve literacy of the entire population.Guided by the principle of“indigenous(OR proprietary)innovation in key areas to support development and lead in the future”,we will improve our innovation system and provide policy support for breakthroughs in major technologies.We will raise R&D expenditure to 2.2%of GDP;we will facilitate the commercialization of research(OR the translation of research results into practice/productivity).We will strengthen training and build a large pool of high-caliber work force to accelerate modernization.We will develop cultural initiatives.We will take larger steps in cultural reform and development to meet the increasing needs of the population.
    不需要把那些形容詞都翻譯出來(lái)——翻譯出來(lái)顯得歇斯底里;不要用太多的被動(dòng)句。不要用慢啟動(dòng)句子(slow start sentences;說(shuō)了半天還沒聽到重點(diǎn)),如It is required to insist on the priority given to the development of education and to promote steadily the education level of the general public.
    用should也說(shuō)得過(guò)去,如果你認(rèn)為總理是在抱怨的話。
    英譯漢我沒有批改,這里不做評(píng)論。
    你是否有這樣的感覺,自己學(xué)翻譯就像在大海中漂流的小船一樣,遨游在翻譯世界里,沒有燈塔,只能橫沖直撞,浪費(fèi)很多力氣。
    有了方向,我們即使逆流而上,也會(huì)有所前進(jìn)。
    機(jī)器是永遠(yuǎn)無(wú)法替代人來(lái)做翻譯的。
    翻譯是寫作的一種形式,是在充分理解原文和交際背景的基礎(chǔ)上,以適當(dāng)?shù)男问?,表達(dá)作者明確表達(dá)、希望表達(dá),甚至應(yīng)該表達(dá)的意思。
    高翻的傳統(tǒng)就是學(xué)以致用,不是坐而論道!