英文寫作翻譯頻道為大家整理的英語演講翻譯：哈佛大學(xué)搞笑畢業(yè)演講，供大家參考:)
美國大學(xué)的畢業(yè)演講大都是些成功人士給畢業(yè)生人生建議的機(jī)會。2012年哈佛大學(xué)的Class Day請來喜劇明星Andy Samberg演講。他采取了別樣的套路。他認(rèn)為自己不配給哈佛畢業(yè)生建議。于是講了一堆的笑話，你可能從中很難看到勵志的東西，但是他還是想說：每個挑戰(zhàn)都是成功的機(jī)會。
So, without further ado, our 2012 class day guest speaker Andy Samberg.
那么，不再多啰嗦了，歡迎我們2012畢業(yè)班的客座講者Andy Samberg。
Wait! Sorry, sorry! Sorry! Stop the music. Sorry! What happened there? That song is just so emotional…I just met that guy! Alright, I’m just…h(huán)ave to compose myself. The show must go on here.
等等！對不起，對不起！對不起！關(guān)掉音樂。抱歉！剛剛發(fā)生了什么事啊？那首歌真是太動人了…我才剛認(rèn)識那家伙耶！好吧，我只是…必須靜下心來。演講還是要繼續(xù)下去。
Students, faculty, parents, grandparents, uncles that weren’t invited but showed up anyway, handsome young janitors who are secretly math geniuses, and the homeless guy from With Honors.
學(xué)生、教職員、家長們、祖父母們、那些沒被邀請卻還是出現(xiàn)的叔叔伯伯們、那些私底下是數(shù)學(xué)天才的帥氣年輕清潔工(電影《心靈捕手》中的Matt Damon)，還有With Honors(《乞丐博士》)里的流浪漢。
My name is Andy Samberg, and I am as honored to be here as I am unqualified. There’s a storied history of incredible Class Day speakers here at Harvard: Nobel Prize laureate Mother Teresa, former U.S. President Bill Clinton and now me, the fake-rap, wiener-songs guy. I’m also just over the moon to be receiving an honorary degree here today. I mean…never in my wildest dreams, did I…What’s that? No Degree? So what…I’m just like…I’m just like a professor or…oh, Nothing? Then why am I here? Dean Hammonds!
我是Andy Samberg，非常榮幸來到這里，但同時我也覺得我不夠格。在哈佛這里，有個關(guān)于那些驚人的畢業(yè)日講者的歷史：諾貝爾獎得主特里薩修女、美國前總統(tǒng)比爾．柯林頓，而現(xiàn)在是我，假冒饒舌歌手、唱香腸歌曲(批注1)的家伙。今天要在這里領(lǐng)取榮譽(yù)學(xué)位我也感到欣喜若狂。我的意思是…在我最荒唐的夢里也從未出現(xiàn)過，我會…你說啥？沒有學(xué)位？所以啥…我只是像個…我只是像個教授或是…噢，什么都不是？那我為什么在這??？Hammonds院長！
Yes?
是？
You lied to me! Uh, alright, I’ll just…get this crappy speech done. You know I…I flew my folks in. Here we go. Class of 2012, you are graduating from college. That means this is the first day of the last day of your life…No, that’s wrong. This is the last day, of the first day, of school…No! That’s worse! Ugh, this is a day.
你騙我！噢，好吧，我只好…做完這場討人厭的演講。你知道我…我把我的老鄉(xiāng)們都給帶來了(參加畢業(yè)典禮)。我們開始吧。2012的畢業(yè)班，你們將要從大學(xué)畢業(yè)。也就是說這是你們生命最后一天的第一天…不，這樣說不對。這是第一天上學(xué)的最后一天…不對！這樣更糟糕！呃，這是一天。
You know, I too, turned to Websters Dictionary, and ah…it defined Harvard as: The season for gathering crops. Admittedly, that’s actually the definition of Harvest, but it was the closest word I could find to Harvard that wasn’t a proper noun. And in the end, isn’t that what Harvard is really about though? Planting the seeds of knowledge that eventually produce crops (a.k.a. money), in order to satisfy the farmers (your parents), who pay like 45,000 crops a year to send you to Harvest, just so you could major in women’s agriculture. You see what I’m doing.
你知道，我也是，會求助于韋氏辭典，而啊…它將Harvard(哈佛)定義為：收成農(nóng)作物的季節(jié)。我承認(rèn)，它其實(shí)是Harvest的字義，但那是我所可以找到最接近Harvard而不是專有名詞的字了。但最終，這豈不就是Harvard真正的意義嗎？種植知識的種子，而最后會產(chǎn)出農(nóng)作物(又叫作錢)，為了要滿足那些農(nóng)夫們(你的家長們)，他們每年付大約45,000個莊稼(實(shí)際上是45,000美金)讓你來Harvest(收割，雙關(guān)：送你來Harvard)，好讓你可以主修于女性農(nóng)業(yè)(把妹)。你懂我的意思。
Before we move on, the world outside of Harvard has asked me to make a quick announcement. The following majors are apparently useless as of tomorrow:
在我們繼續(xù)之前，哈佛外的世界請我做個迅速的公告。以下幾個科系很顯然地從明天開始是毫無用處的：
History, Literature, all things related to Art, Social Studies, East Asian studies, pretty much anything that ends with “Studies”, Ugh…Romance Languages, and finally Folklore and Mythology?
歷史學(xué)、文學(xué)、所有與藝術(shù)、社會研究、東亞研究有關(guān)的學(xué)問、幾乎任何以「研究」結(jié)尾的、哦…羅馬語文學(xué)，還有最后是民俗神話學(xué)？
Come on, guys! Just study something useful and play World of Warcraft in your free time, okay? Anyhow, all those majors…now useless, unless you can somehow turn them into an iPhone App. Uh, Math and Science majors, you guys are cool, ya. Finally!
拜托，大家！念點(diǎn)有用的東西，在你有空時玩玩魔獸世界，好嗎？不管如何，那些科系全部…現(xiàn)在都沒用了，除非你可以不知怎的把它們變成iPhone的應(yīng)用程序。啊，數(shù)學(xué)和自然科學(xué)系，你們沒事，對的。終于！
But 2012 is a great time to be graduating from College. Sure, the job market is a little slow. Sure, our healthcare and social security systems are gonna evaporate in five years. Sure, you’ll have to work till you’re eighty to support your one-hundred-and-ten-year-old parents who will live forever because of nanotechnology. Sure, the concept of love will soon disappear, leaving us all lonely robots, ready to kill our best friends for a lukewarm cup of microchip soup.
但是2012年是一個從大學(xué)畢業(yè)的大好時機(jī)。當(dāng)然，工作市場有點(diǎn)不景氣。當(dāng)然，我們的健保與社會安全系統(tǒng)在五年內(nèi)就要消失。當(dāng)然，你將必須要工作到八十歲來奉養(yǎng)你那因?yàn)槟蚊卓萍级鴮⒌玫接郎囊话僖皇畾q父母。當(dāng)然，愛的概念將會很快地消失，留下我們?nèi)窟@些孤單的機(jī)器人，準(zhǔn)備好為了那杯微溫的微芯片湯要?dú)⒌粑覀冏钜玫呐笥褌儭?BR> But that doesn’t matter, because tomorrow, you graduate from harvest… Havard… from Harvard. It’s where you will graduate.
但那不要緊，因?yàn)槊魈?，你們要從Harvest…Harvard…從哈佛畢業(yè)。那就是你們即將要畢業(yè)的地方。
Now, I’m sure a lot of you are looking up here and thinking: what makes this guy so special? You know, what has he accomplished? He didn’t even go to Harvard!
現(xiàn)在，我很確定你們很多人正望向這邊并想著：是什么讓這家伙如此特別？你知道，他有什么成就？他甚至沒有讀哈佛！
Well to you, I say this: “I didn’t even apply to Harvard, ok? Because I knew I wouldn’t get in!”
那么，我會對你們說：「我甚至沒有申請哈佛，好嗎？因?yàn)槲抑牢也粫希 ?BR> Boom, suck on that. I don’t accept you, esteemed college! I break up first! I move on, and you see me with my hot new girlfriend. She’s riding shotgun in my convertible Sebring. That’s right. It’s the one that Harvard was always begging me to rent. We went up the coast, and I’m just laughing and looking really fit, like, “Has he been hitting the gym?” “Nope. Just eating right and making positive choices.”
嘩，吃我這招吧！我才不錄取你，！我先不要你的！我走出情傷，然后你看到我和我火辣的新女友。她正坐在我的Sebring敞篷車(克賴斯勒系列跑車)前座。沒錯。就是那輛Harvard總是苦苦哀求我要租借的車。我們開上海邊，而我只是笑著而且看起來很強(qiáng)壯的樣子，像是：「他最近是不是有上健身房？」「沒有。只是正確飲食還有做正面的選擇。」
Man, I really wanted that honorary degree! Well, I guess the old saying is true: “Never trust Dean Hammonds!” Regardless, Harvard remains iconic in our culture. One thing that sticks out of my mind is the central role this campus played in one of the most important films ever made about social connections and how we communicate.
天啊，我真的很想要那個榮譽(yù)學(xué)位！嗯，我想那句俗話是對的：「絕對不要相信Hammonds院長！」無論如何，哈佛在我們文化里仍是具有指標(biāo)性意義的。一件從我腦海浮現(xiàn)出來的事情，是這個校園在有史以來，關(guān)于社會關(guān)系和如何溝通的電影中的一部里所扮演的重要角色。
I’m referring of course to 1986 whimsical blackface romp “Soul Man”, starring C. Thomas Howell as a white student posing as an African-American in order to exploit affirmative action. He was in Harvard Law in that movie, and that movie exists.
我指的當(dāng)然是1986年異想天開扮演黑人的賣座電影《Soul Man》，由C. Thomas Howell飾演一個白人學(xué)生，為了濫用平權(quán)法案假扮成非裔美國人。他在那部電影里就讀哈佛法律系，而那部電影真的存在。
Now most of you don’t know this yet, but Harvard is one of the few schools you can attend that can also eventually become your workplace nickname.
現(xiàn)在你們大部分還不知道這個，但是哈佛是少數(shù)幾個你可以就讀、而最后也會變成你的工作場合綽號的學(xué)校之一。
“Whose edamame is this in the break room?” “Probably Harvard’s.”
“Whose Vespa is in my parking spot?” “Ugh, I am going with Harvard’s!”
「休息室里的毛豆是誰的？」「可能是那哈佛小子的?！?BR> 「誰的Vespa(偉士牌機(jī)車)停在我的車位？」「呃，我認(rèn)為是哈佛小子的！」
美國大學(xué)的畢業(yè)演講大都是些成功人士給畢業(yè)生人生建議的機(jī)會。2012年哈佛大學(xué)的Class Day請來喜劇明星Andy Samberg演講。他采取了別樣的套路。他認(rèn)為自己不配給哈佛畢業(yè)生建議。于是講了一堆的笑話，你可能從中很難看到勵志的東西，但是他還是想說：每個挑戰(zhàn)都是成功的機(jī)會。
So, without further ado, our 2012 class day guest speaker Andy Samberg.
那么，不再多啰嗦了，歡迎我們2012畢業(yè)班的客座講者Andy Samberg。
Wait! Sorry, sorry! Sorry! Stop the music. Sorry! What happened there? That song is just so emotional…I just met that guy! Alright, I’m just…h(huán)ave to compose myself. The show must go on here.
等等！對不起，對不起！對不起！關(guān)掉音樂。抱歉！剛剛發(fā)生了什么事啊？那首歌真是太動人了…我才剛認(rèn)識那家伙耶！好吧，我只是…必須靜下心來。演講還是要繼續(xù)下去。
Students, faculty, parents, grandparents, uncles that weren’t invited but showed up anyway, handsome young janitors who are secretly math geniuses, and the homeless guy from With Honors.
學(xué)生、教職員、家長們、祖父母們、那些沒被邀請卻還是出現(xiàn)的叔叔伯伯們、那些私底下是數(shù)學(xué)天才的帥氣年輕清潔工(電影《心靈捕手》中的Matt Damon)，還有With Honors(《乞丐博士》)里的流浪漢。
My name is Andy Samberg, and I am as honored to be here as I am unqualified. There’s a storied history of incredible Class Day speakers here at Harvard: Nobel Prize laureate Mother Teresa, former U.S. President Bill Clinton and now me, the fake-rap, wiener-songs guy. I’m also just over the moon to be receiving an honorary degree here today. I mean…never in my wildest dreams, did I…What’s that? No Degree? So what…I’m just like…I’m just like a professor or…oh, Nothing? Then why am I here? Dean Hammonds!
我是Andy Samberg，非常榮幸來到這里，但同時我也覺得我不夠格。在哈佛這里，有個關(guān)于那些驚人的畢業(yè)日講者的歷史：諾貝爾獎得主特里薩修女、美國前總統(tǒng)比爾．柯林頓，而現(xiàn)在是我，假冒饒舌歌手、唱香腸歌曲(批注1)的家伙。今天要在這里領(lǐng)取榮譽(yù)學(xué)位我也感到欣喜若狂。我的意思是…在我最荒唐的夢里也從未出現(xiàn)過，我會…你說啥？沒有學(xué)位？所以啥…我只是像個…我只是像個教授或是…噢，什么都不是？那我為什么在這??？Hammonds院長！
Yes?
是？
You lied to me! Uh, alright, I’ll just…get this crappy speech done. You know I…I flew my folks in. Here we go. Class of 2012, you are graduating from college. That means this is the first day of the last day of your life…No, that’s wrong. This is the last day, of the first day, of school…No! That’s worse! Ugh, this is a day.
你騙我！噢，好吧，我只好…做完這場討人厭的演講。你知道我…我把我的老鄉(xiāng)們都給帶來了(參加畢業(yè)典禮)。我們開始吧。2012的畢業(yè)班，你們將要從大學(xué)畢業(yè)。也就是說這是你們生命最后一天的第一天…不，這樣說不對。這是第一天上學(xué)的最后一天…不對！這樣更糟糕！呃，這是一天。
You know, I too, turned to Websters Dictionary, and ah…it defined Harvard as: The season for gathering crops. Admittedly, that’s actually the definition of Harvest, but it was the closest word I could find to Harvard that wasn’t a proper noun. And in the end, isn’t that what Harvard is really about though? Planting the seeds of knowledge that eventually produce crops (a.k.a. money), in order to satisfy the farmers (your parents), who pay like 45,000 crops a year to send you to Harvest, just so you could major in women’s agriculture. You see what I’m doing.
你知道，我也是，會求助于韋氏辭典，而啊…它將Harvard(哈佛)定義為：收成農(nóng)作物的季節(jié)。我承認(rèn)，它其實(shí)是Harvest的字義，但那是我所可以找到最接近Harvard而不是專有名詞的字了。但最終，這豈不就是Harvard真正的意義嗎？種植知識的種子，而最后會產(chǎn)出農(nóng)作物(又叫作錢)，為了要滿足那些農(nóng)夫們(你的家長們)，他們每年付大約45,000個莊稼(實(shí)際上是45,000美金)讓你來Harvest(收割，雙關(guān)：送你來Harvard)，好讓你可以主修于女性農(nóng)業(yè)(把妹)。你懂我的意思。
Before we move on, the world outside of Harvard has asked me to make a quick announcement. The following majors are apparently useless as of tomorrow:
在我們繼續(xù)之前，哈佛外的世界請我做個迅速的公告。以下幾個科系很顯然地從明天開始是毫無用處的：
History, Literature, all things related to Art, Social Studies, East Asian studies, pretty much anything that ends with “Studies”, Ugh…Romance Languages, and finally Folklore and Mythology?
歷史學(xué)、文學(xué)、所有與藝術(shù)、社會研究、東亞研究有關(guān)的學(xué)問、幾乎任何以「研究」結(jié)尾的、哦…羅馬語文學(xué)，還有最后是民俗神話學(xué)？
Come on, guys! Just study something useful and play World of Warcraft in your free time, okay? Anyhow, all those majors…now useless, unless you can somehow turn them into an iPhone App. Uh, Math and Science majors, you guys are cool, ya. Finally!
拜托，大家！念點(diǎn)有用的東西，在你有空時玩玩魔獸世界，好嗎？不管如何，那些科系全部…現(xiàn)在都沒用了，除非你可以不知怎的把它們變成iPhone的應(yīng)用程序。啊，數(shù)學(xué)和自然科學(xué)系，你們沒事，對的。終于！
But 2012 is a great time to be graduating from College. Sure, the job market is a little slow. Sure, our healthcare and social security systems are gonna evaporate in five years. Sure, you’ll have to work till you’re eighty to support your one-hundred-and-ten-year-old parents who will live forever because of nanotechnology. Sure, the concept of love will soon disappear, leaving us all lonely robots, ready to kill our best friends for a lukewarm cup of microchip soup.
但是2012年是一個從大學(xué)畢業(yè)的大好時機(jī)。當(dāng)然，工作市場有點(diǎn)不景氣。當(dāng)然，我們的健保與社會安全系統(tǒng)在五年內(nèi)就要消失。當(dāng)然，你將必須要工作到八十歲來奉養(yǎng)你那因?yàn)槟蚊卓萍级鴮⒌玫接郎囊话僖皇畾q父母。當(dāng)然，愛的概念將會很快地消失，留下我們?nèi)窟@些孤單的機(jī)器人，準(zhǔn)備好為了那杯微溫的微芯片湯要?dú)⒌粑覀冏钜玫呐笥褌儭?BR> But that doesn’t matter, because tomorrow, you graduate from harvest… Havard… from Harvard. It’s where you will graduate.
但那不要緊，因?yàn)槊魈?，你們要從Harvest…Harvard…從哈佛畢業(yè)。那就是你們即將要畢業(yè)的地方。
Now, I’m sure a lot of you are looking up here and thinking: what makes this guy so special? You know, what has he accomplished? He didn’t even go to Harvard!
現(xiàn)在，我很確定你們很多人正望向這邊并想著：是什么讓這家伙如此特別？你知道，他有什么成就？他甚至沒有讀哈佛！
Well to you, I say this: “I didn’t even apply to Harvard, ok? Because I knew I wouldn’t get in!”
那么，我會對你們說：「我甚至沒有申請哈佛，好嗎？因?yàn)槲抑牢也粫希 ?BR> Boom, suck on that. I don’t accept you, esteemed college! I break up first! I move on, and you see me with my hot new girlfriend. She’s riding shotgun in my convertible Sebring. That’s right. It’s the one that Harvard was always begging me to rent. We went up the coast, and I’m just laughing and looking really fit, like, “Has he been hitting the gym?” “Nope. Just eating right and making positive choices.”
嘩，吃我這招吧！我才不錄取你，！我先不要你的！我走出情傷，然后你看到我和我火辣的新女友。她正坐在我的Sebring敞篷車(克賴斯勒系列跑車)前座。沒錯。就是那輛Harvard總是苦苦哀求我要租借的車。我們開上海邊，而我只是笑著而且看起來很強(qiáng)壯的樣子，像是：「他最近是不是有上健身房？」「沒有。只是正確飲食還有做正面的選擇。」
Man, I really wanted that honorary degree! Well, I guess the old saying is true: “Never trust Dean Hammonds!” Regardless, Harvard remains iconic in our culture. One thing that sticks out of my mind is the central role this campus played in one of the most important films ever made about social connections and how we communicate.
天啊，我真的很想要那個榮譽(yù)學(xué)位！嗯，我想那句俗話是對的：「絕對不要相信Hammonds院長！」無論如何，哈佛在我們文化里仍是具有指標(biāo)性意義的。一件從我腦海浮現(xiàn)出來的事情，是這個校園在有史以來，關(guān)于社會關(guān)系和如何溝通的電影中的一部里所扮演的重要角色。
I’m referring of course to 1986 whimsical blackface romp “Soul Man”, starring C. Thomas Howell as a white student posing as an African-American in order to exploit affirmative action. He was in Harvard Law in that movie, and that movie exists.
我指的當(dāng)然是1986年異想天開扮演黑人的賣座電影《Soul Man》，由C. Thomas Howell飾演一個白人學(xué)生，為了濫用平權(quán)法案假扮成非裔美國人。他在那部電影里就讀哈佛法律系，而那部電影真的存在。
Now most of you don’t know this yet, but Harvard is one of the few schools you can attend that can also eventually become your workplace nickname.
現(xiàn)在你們大部分還不知道這個，但是哈佛是少數(shù)幾個你可以就讀、而最后也會變成你的工作場合綽號的學(xué)校之一。
“Whose edamame is this in the break room?” “Probably Harvard’s.”
“Whose Vespa is in my parking spot?” “Ugh, I am going with Harvard’s!”
「休息室里的毛豆是誰的？」「可能是那哈佛小子的?！?BR> 「誰的Vespa(偉士牌機(jī)車)停在我的車位？」「呃，我認(rèn)為是哈佛小子的！」